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The Best a Man Can Get?

1/17/2019

Comments

 
By now, I am sure you have seen the Gillette toxic masculinity ad about 65,000 times, but I will post it here in case you somehow haven't seen the actual ad for yourself. I suggest watching it before moving forward to the article. This is from The Guardian's YouTube channel, as you can tell by their weird branding on the video as if they own it or something. 
So, now that you've seen it, odds are, you have an opinion on it. Either you think this is the greatest ad ever made and everything in it is a solid truth and showcases the issues with toxic masculinity in society that it is beyond time that we highlight and discuss so we can change it, or you stopped reading this article to set fire to anything made by Gillette and are screaming about how not all men are rapists and this advertisement was sexist. 

And... you're both wrong!

​Let me explain. I don't hate the ad, but not for the reasons you are thinking. I actually kind of like it. Not because it is showcasing toxic masculinity, but it is a subtle nod to the beauty of capitalism. As this tweet so eloquently puts it:
Picture
And that is exactly what is going on here. Regardless of what you think about the people this ad was meant to entice, this is general thought process of Gillette.
  1. Older men are most likely not going to switch brands. They've been using this razor for 20 years, it works, they are going to keep using it. They may never even see the ad. If they do boycott, it will be short lived, because we can do something later this year to make them feel good and come back.
  2. The younger generations are still trying to find a razor that works for them, and these kids either shave nothing or everything. 
I've heard all the comments about feminists who don't shave, but the fact of the matter is... the vast majority of women still shave everything from the chin down. Feminist or not. And even if they don't, Gillette sells more than razors. 

Here's the story, though. Right now, we live in a nation that is heavily polarized along the lines of social issues. We're obsessed with them. Some companies, like Ben and Jerry's, are using the sale of their product to fund their activism. We know that. We also see the irony in them using capitalism to fund their desire for socialism. 

They also know that people over a certain age know that boycotts can be fairly useless in the long run and won't take part, because, after all, if you boycott everyone with different opinions from yourself you are left with very little to fill your needs. And, let's face it... most of these companies are giving their money to both sides. The payout goes to who does the most for them. And they pay everyone to get what they want done. Boycotting can be so fickle. They say one thing one day and this side boycotts, and next week they say something else and the boycott stops but now the other side is boycotting... but both sides have no purchased their products regardless. And memories are so short that the boycotts will end on both sides in a few months when they have a fantastic sale.

​The younger folks are so wrapped in what they believe that it consumes their lives. Therefore, shave or not, they are going to go out and buy the heck out of their products to counter act the boycott from the people who didn't like the ad and to show support for their beliefs being justified by a corporation. 

Do you see something missing from this thought process? No?

What's missing is the actual giving a crap. These corporations are selling a product. They don't give a rat's patoot about social issues. You can tell the ones who do - like the aforementioned Ben and Jerry's who doesn't care if their brand goes down the toilet as long as they can ironically fight for socialism for a little while with the profits - but 99% of them don't.

The ad is too long to run on TV, at least in it's entirety. They put this ad up online. And now... everyone is talking about it. It doesn't need to go on TV. Mission accomplished. They've already made back the money the spent making the ad with all this free advertising. It's been discussed on the news. It's all over YouTube. It was trending on Facebook and Twitter. And every time someone mentions it they call it "the Gillette ad." Their name is out there. And they didn't have to spend money on advertising.

It's the latest marketing ploy. Make an ad that is politically charged and everyone will talk about it for weeks, everyone will play the ad all over the place, there will be boycotts and runs alike on the product, etc. This is big, hot news!

This is capitalism, baby!

Sure, the message wasn't great since it demonizes men and plays into a narrative that is dangerous. But that's the point! If it didn't, it wouldn't be getting talked about endlessly! And the topic has to be polarizing but not hideous. This marketing strategy wouldn't work if they, say, made an ad ridiculing various races or religions. That's something the left and the right would get behind in boycotting. No, they have to play the sides against each other, because the sides have been getting played against each other in the political sphere something hard for a decade or more now. NOW they can make money on it. 

So yes, these corporations are going to pretend - and they are pretending - to give a crap about these issues to cause the endless analysis, social media trending, buying frenzy to counter act boycotts, etc., because it does cause people to go out and aim right for their product. And since it was an issue the left cares about... the right will boycott and the left will over buy in support to make up for that boycott. Plus, aiming to please the left works better since the left tends more towards hard boycotts, violent protests, or complete buying frenzies than the right is. We wouldn't want Antifa burning down the factory now, would we? No. But we do want them going out and buying everything they see with the Gillette brand on it, which they will, especially if they are under 25. So they're pretending to care about this issue to capitalize off of socialists who don't make the connection that they are proving capitalism works... because this is pure capitalistic marketing and they don't see it. Now, in a few months, Gillette will probably do something that supports the troops or something like that, because that will bring the right back off their boycott and they'll buy because Gillette supports the troops. It will spark a small boycott by the left, but not one big enough to notice. And that's how you create a profit in 2019!
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What Happened This Week While Everyone Was Screeching About Kanye

10/13/2018

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PictureScreenshot: CNN
You might not know this, but there was other news this week besides Kanye meeting with Trump at the White House. Let's have a look!

Apparently, Trump signed legislation to clean up millions of tons of garbage from the world's oceans. You'd think the environmentalists would be all over this. 

President Donald Trump added his signature to the “Save Our Seas Act” on Thursday, green-lighting an initiative to clean up eight million tons of debris from the planet’s oceans.

“As president I will continue to do everything I can to stop other nations from making our oceans into their landfills. That’s why I’m pleased – very pleased, I must say – to put my signature on this important legislation,” Trump said as he signed the Save Our Seas Act into law at the Oval Office.
​
Sponsored by Alaska Republican Sen. Dan Sullivan, the bill aims to promote better domestic and international efforts at cleaning up garbage that is littered throughout the oceans. The new law will extend the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s Marine Debris Program for another five years, and promote cohesion among different federal agencies on how to reduce marine debris.
​Trump also signed a bill to help patients from overpaying for drugs. Where is everyone who is all about healthcare? 
​President Trump took a step on Wednesday to keep customers from overpaying for prescription drugs.

Insurers will no longer be able to keep pharmacists from telling consumers when paying cash would be cheaper than using insurance for their prescriptions.

The two bills signed by Trump moved to correct “gag rules” that many viewed as an egregious business practice.
​
One bill applies to private health insurance and the other to Medicare.
Democrats agreed to confirm 15 judges this week, too!
Senate Democrats accepted an offer Thursday from Senate Republicans to confirm 15 lifetime federal judges in exchange for the ability to go into recess through the midterms, allowing endangered Democrats to campaign.

The calculation by Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer and his caucus was simple: That Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) would be able to confirm roughly 15 judges if he kept the Senate in session for the next few weeks anyway. So Democrats OK’d an offer to confirm three Circuit Court judges and 12 Circuit Court judges as the price to pay to go home for election season.
Kuwait has all but stopped shipping oil to the US for the first time since the early 90s. 
Kuwait has all but stopped shipping crude to the U.S. for the first time since the aftermath of Saddam Hussein’s invasion in 1990, eroding an economic link between Washington and the Arab petro-monarchy.

The halt is the latest sign that booming demand for oil in Asia, particularly as the U.S. re-imposes sanctions on Iran, and rising supplies from America on the back of the shale revolution are re-drawing petroleum trade routes.

U.S. imports of Kuwaiti crude fell to zero over four weeks through late September, the first time that shipments have completely stopped since weekly data became available in June 2010, according to the U.S. Energy Information Administration. Based on monthly data, Kuwaiti shipments to the U.S. haven’t stopped since May 1992, when the OPEC producer was still recovering from oil-field fires ignited by retreating Iraqi troops in the first Gulf War.
California "accidentally" registered 1500 people to vote who were not eligible. 
​The California Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) revealed Monday evening that it had registered 1,500 non-eligible people, including non-U.S. citizens, to vote between April and September, despite assuring the public for years it had safeguards to prevent that from happening.

The error is the latest scandal for the DMV, which had to admit a month ago that it made 23,000 over voter registration errors.

As Breitbart News reported:

In 2015, AB 60 went into effect, granting over one million illegal aliens in the Golden State the ability to apply for driver’s licenses without having their immigration status reported to federal authorities. In 2017, AB 1461, the “motor voter” law, automatically registered Californians to vote when they applied for driver’s licenses unless they were ineligible. State officials reassured the public that non-citizens would not be allowed to register to vote because database safeguards would prevent it.

The DMV says that the 1,500 improper registrations do not include any illegal aliens, according to SFGate.com.

In response to the news, California Secretary of State Alex Padilla, a Democrat, called for an independent audit of the DMV. Governor Jerry Brown ordered his own audit of the DMV last month, after the agency was criticized heavily by Republican businessman John Cox, who is running for governor in November against Democrat Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom.
Why am I telling you all of this cheery news, especially when we have a Newsroom at the website? 

Consider this your friendly reminder that when there is a huge story - no matter what it is - you need to start paying extra attention to what isn't being talked about. While the Kavanaugh debacle was going on, you should have been doing the same. There was a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes that wasn't getting the attention it should. This week was worse. We were all hyper focused on a story that was, ultimately, a non-issue. Kanye was at the White House. Well, so what? 

Always start looking harder when a story seems to take over the news. While they sit around screaming and yelling about tweets and celebrities, start looking for the real news that isn't getting reported or is being under reported. You'll always find something. And it will always be far more important than what they are trying to hyper focus us on.
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Alert! Alert!

10/3/2018

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If you have a cell phone, odds are you got a "presidential alert" today. Apparently, some people didn't get the alert, and then some of us got two of them. For those who didn't get one, here are the two I got:
It was really rather... mundane. And no, I didn't think anything of it. I certainly didn't begin today thinking I was going to be writing something up on it, but here we are! 

But according to the internet, the world is ending!
Picture
There are a lot more out there to be found, but these are just a nice little sampling so you can see what's going on. 

OK, so what actually is this alert system? Well, it's a national emergency alert system. Similar to the emergency alerts you get on the TV and the radio, this is another way to reach more people. Let's face it, a lot of folks are actually getting rid of their TVs or going to subscription internet services, and fewer people than ever are listening to the radio. But we've all got phones in our pockets, it seems. 

​No, Trump isn't going to be sending out mass tweets or contacting you about random stuff. It is an emergency alert system. 

And you've probably already dealt with it on a state level. 

Hey, Hurricane Florence just ravaged my state. We got real familiar with those emergency alerts during the duration of that, from actual hurricane warning alerts to tornado alerts to flash flooding alerts, we were getting the noise constantly. It's real nice of them to go off in the middle of the night to let you know there's a tornado barreling towards your house while your family is asleep. If I travel out of state, I get the alerts from there, too. It isn't a new system... it's just a national system now on top of your state one. It would be useful for things like, oh, I don't know... 9/11. 

And those state alerts have been going on for years. Literally, years. I even get Amber Alerts this way.

All of a sudden, it's Trump "raping us through technology." Or it is setting off PTSD (I can actually see this, and I'm sorry to hear that, but again... it isn't just the national alerts, you are most likely getting state alerts, too). Or... it's a pre-cursor to martial law?!
Picture
That screen shot is actually from the #walkaway discussion group. So the irrational freak out isn't coming from just one side. 

​Folks. Calm the hell down. The world isn't ending. Trump isn't harassing you. The Russians aren't coming for your soul. We aren't going into martial law. It's just an alert system being put into place for national emergencies so we can alert people to imminent threats. Things like North Korea lobbing missiles at us or a large terrorist attack or mass rioting. You'll be OK, I promise. 
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I Spent a Saturday at Feminist Activism Training so You Don't Have To!

8/12/2018

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If you followed along at the home page section of the site, you saw the lead up to the event I attended yesterday. It began with a simple daily email from a job board. In that email was a listing for "activist." I was so taken aback by this that I did a video showing off the add and the page to request information. Jokingly, I said I should attend. Well... my YouTube viewers thought that was a great idea, and I started to think it was, too. So I began the steps, went through the interview, and jumped though a couple of hoops. Then yesterday morning I found myself sitting in a very bougie room with a bunch of women and a few men.

Now, my intention was not to disrupt. I intended to go in, pretend to be a liberal feminist, make it through the day, and leave without them being any wiser. Trolling is not my style. I made it through the event exactly as planned, although I did leave about two hours early. 

Basic Run Down

What I attended was the HER Summit. There were about 50 attendees and Rep. David Price (D-NC) was the key note speaker. Everything was done in 45 minute increments, with breaks in between. It began with everyone breaking off into groups to introduce ourselves, declare our pronouns (pronouns were very important, they were even on our name tags), give our experience, and tell everyone our first concert... which is a lot of fun when you are middle aged. LOL! No, I wasn't the oldest person there by a long shot, but I was in the top ten.

After that we had a speaker who gave us the break down of how many women on Earth are going to die if the USA doesn't fund their abortions and present abortion as a first option to these women, a lot of anti-Trump ra-raing, and making fun of right wingers. After that, we had a young woman address us about petitioning the public, at which point we broke off into groups to roll play asking people to sign petitions against the Trump gag rule (link opens up Planned Parenthood's website. Also read these links here and here). 

Lunch was followed by the key note address by Rep. David Price, and if you'd like to know what he thinks of you, you can watch his speech below. I will give him credit... some of the things he said were dead on, especially in the Q and A portion at the end. But a lot of his speech was what you would expect. Now, before anyone gets their knickers in a knot, this video is mostly unedited. The only editing that was done was when my phone's video cut out because of the length of the speech and I had to start a new video and then splice everything together. I think I missed about two sentences of his speech. The video is almost 48 minutes long, just so you know ahead of time. 

​Make sure to turn the audio on in the video.
Frontline Top Spot: Buy 1 Get 1 Free + Extra 10% Discount
After this was the workshops. 

We were given three options, of which we could attend two. The options were:
  1. Using the Power of the Vote
  2. Strength in Voice: Protest & Letter Writing
  3. How to Advocate for Reproductive Justice
Obviously, the second one appealed to me, but I declined due to it being very hands on training wise, and I wasn't sure I could pull that off without losing it. So I decided to attended the one about voting and the reproductive justice one.

I didn't make it past the first workshop. 

No, I wasn't kicked out. I opted to slip out and make a run for it towards the end of that workshop, because they decided to hand out a paper that requested us to give them the information of 15 - 30 friends and family members. This was names, addresses, emails, phone numbers, and age range. They weren't good about taking no for an answer, I didn't want to argue with them and draw attention to myself, and there was absolutely no way on God's green Earth that I was going to hand out the information of anyone I know, unsolicited, to a group at a summit those friends chose not to attend. I have a line, and that was it. I also wanted to get out early before they began trying to get me to sign up to volunteer to protest or get people to sign a petition I myself wasn't going to sign. 

Why Did I Do This?

Actually, I had several reasons. Due to the nature of how I found out about the event, my inner reporter got so curious the only way to quiet it down was to give in. But I had questions I wanted answers to. 

The original questions:

1. Why was this posted on a job board instead of an event page? Why does it require an interview to attend? Is this a paid position? Are they paying people to protest? And if so, who is paying for it? That's a bunch of questions, and they only got partly answered. No, this was not paid activism. That was a big question, and probably the biggest one I wanted answered. I promised to be honest about this event, and I am doing so. All activist positions were on a volunteer basis only, although the organizations had some paid job openings. They were legit jobs, though. Sorry if that busted anyone's bubble.

I never got an answer as to why "activist" was specifically posted as the job title, or why it was listed on a job board instead of an event page. I assume they wanted a smaller turn out for the event, which they got. However, David Price eluded to being surprised that so many actually came, and a big part of the petition signing process was getting people to agree to volunteer and/or attend a future summit. So I don't know. 

The interview portion opened up a can of worms. This event was super secretive. I had no information until a few days before the event. All I knew was the city it was being held in, but not the actual venue. Due to the city, I assumed it was a college campus. I was partially right. It was held in a hotel on the college campus. Parking was scarce. The hotel staff didn't know what the summit was about and when numerous attendees asked for "where is the feminist summit being held in the building" they had no idea what they were talking about. 

Staff didn't answer many questions, but other attendees were as curious as I was about the secretive nature of it all. A few others came through the same job board as I did, a few came after signing the petition and being talked into attending, some were recruited on the college campus, and others weren't specific with me. No one was willing to speculate aside from one woman, who assumed it was to deter "right wing protest." I would assume the same, honestly. With the way the extreme left acts whenever someone they don't agree with assembles, I would assume they'd expect it from the right as well. And who knows, maybe they would have showed up. After all, one of our representatives was there to speak and it was supposedly about abortion (it was, mostly. But the workshop I went to was about voter ID laws and several other democrat issues).  

2. Some of the things on the website were a little questionable, so I'd like clarification on some of their stances. I got the clarification I wanted to a point. Their big issue was the supposed "Trump Gag Rule" that "every republican has put in place, but Trump has expanded on." I provided three links above, two news articles and Planned Parenthood's piece on it, in case you want to know what that's about. The focus at this summit didn't appear to be mostly the domestic side, but the international side. There are audio links at the bottom of this article if you want to hear what was said. I honestly can't see what the huge issue is, but I may not be understanding the issue completely. Abortion isn't a big issue to me, I don't pay it much mind. I know that may bother some of you, but it isn't in my top issues. So many groups on both sides are all over that issue that I chose to take on others. It sounds to me like they are bothered that referrals aren't given for abortions and it isn't presented as a top option or an option at all (although it doesn't outlaw the act). I honestly don't see the issue and how this is killing women. Everyone knows abortion exists. And abortion shouldn't be handed out as a first option. Anything involving death should be a last resort. And even my mom agrees... and she's a big time democrat feminist. Again, though, like I said, I might be missing something. I'm currently doing research on the topic and not having much luck finding non-biased sources on it. I don't feel comfortable giving a solid opinion on it until I know everything I can find on it. So count me as neutral on the topic for now. 

3. I am interested in a first hand view of the "other side," instead of just getting hearsay. Yes, I plan to go in with an open mind and hear people out. I am, and always have been, the type to let people state their case. Obviously, I have my own opinions and I have my own inner circles. I think the best way to sure up your own opinions is to understand the opinion of your opposition. How do you have an honest conversation if you really don't know their thoughts on topics and the reasoning behind it? Besides, we get told all the time how insane the other side is - and they are told how insane we are - so I thought it a good idea to go in to the belly of the beast and see for myself. For example, voter ID. I don't agree with their stance or their reasoning, and I support voter ID laws. But I now have a better understanding of how they view it and why they seem to think it is racist. You'll hear that below in the audio. 

The Major Take Aways

So, what did I take away from all of this?

1. The left is just as paranoid as the right. No, really. The things the far right think about the far left is exactly what the far left thinks of the far right. A lot of topics were exaggerated. A lot of emotions were running heavy. There was a lot of time spent discussing how insane the right is. There was a lot of complete garbage about Trump. And local republicans, too. But a lot of what I heard them saying about the right was exactly what I hear the right saying about the left. A lot of their complaints about Trump mirrored the right's complaints about Obama.  

2. The actual people I interacted with at this event... were really nice people. There was, obviously, the occasional nut job militant feminist. There were a few there who very obviously hadn't formed solid opinions and were looking for people to latch onto and follow. But my general interactions with these folks were good ones. They were immediately engaging with people around them, even me, and I wasn't exactly... approaching anyone, at least at first. I was playing it cautious because I was alone and didn't know anyone there. Not all of them were foaming at the mouth Trump haters. While none of them were jumping on the Trump train, the overwhelming sentiment was that he's the president and they had to make due with it, getting out to vote and hoping to change the outcome next time... that raging and being horrible and screaming at the sky weren't going to change things. A lot of them kept steering the conversation away from Trump. I can respect all of that. You don't have to be happy about it, but accept it and move on. Instead of whining, they were planning for the next election. Cool. I respect people like that. 

3. Reaching across the isle was a foreign concept. While they were willing to move on from the election, they weren't willing to compromise, which is something the left keeps telling the right they have to do. 

4. Rep. Price doesn't see people. I've had interactions with him in short bursts before, but nothing like this. He entered the building while we were on lunch break. I spent my lunch in a rocking chair on the front porch of the hotel. He walked right by me and made no indication that he saw me. Inside, he spoke to his aid and some of the people who worked for the campaign, but not many others. Once on the mic, he seemed open and friendly and answered questions. As soon as his time was up, he reverted. He sat out front with his aid in the rocking chairs, and a lot of the attendees were around. He interacted with none of them. Didn't even look or indicate he saw anyone else was outside. 

5. Rep. Price has some fan girls. They were fan girling bad. So keep that in mind the next time someone comments about anyone who is a Trump fan. These girls were squealing like he was in the Backstreet Boys or something. 

6. They put huge emphasis on pronouns, but almost no one there identified as a gender other than male or female. There was a guy there that may have been transgender, but I'm not 100% sure (female to male). The organizer of the event apparently uses she/they pronouns, which I've never seen before, so I don't know what that means. Everyone else seemed to identify as what they were born as. Otherwise, the LGBT community was not really brought up. 

7. Their view of age was bizarre. That happens a lot. Believe me, I'm 38 years old, and people on both sides of the isle make me feel like a grandma, and somehow I'm less relevant because I'm over 25. Yes, both sides. But yesterday was weird. As I said earlier, I was not the oldest person there. I was probably in the top ten, though, although there was a major gap between me and those older than me. There were several ladies there of retirement age, and the first speaker was probably in his 50s or so. Even the feminists, however, treated him as more relevant than the ladies over 30. Something they might want to focus on! Anyway, I found myself in several strange interactions with other attendees, with one almost interviewing me. At one point, she asked me about my opinion on how far feminism has come since I've witnessed so much of it. Actually, I haven't. I didn't say that, but I'm only 38 years old! I've never been kept from voting, the issues they are passionate about were never withheld from me, I've never been paid less for equal work to a man, I have been in jobs where my qualifications and promotions landed me on a higher pay scale than a lot of men, and I have usually worked in male dominated fields where I wasn't treated as less than the men (including armored transport, where I was not questioned about my physical strength in comparison to the men). I grew up without an awareness that some people treated women differently than men. I wasn't always treated equally, but it didn't happen enough for me to think everyone was out to get me! I honestly didn't know how to answer her questions without blowing my cover. 

7a. Women need to speak the heck up. I'm not making fun, but these women are supposedly strong, empowered, independent women. Talk like it. Far too many of them speak in almost a whisper at all times, and even in small groups it was hard hearing them. Now, full disclosure, I'm partially deaf in my left ear. Even still, my right ear is fine and my left ear has some hearing left. In those small groups and small spaces, I should have been able to hear. But several women I saw their mouths move but heard nothing. Ladies, speak up. Especially if you are trying to be an activist. 

​8. The biggest take away from the entire thing, and if you read nothing else in this article, I hope you stop and read this. The left is organized and they are organizing. What I witnessed yesterday was a legit training on how to get strangers to sign a petition, to volunteer for their cause, how to encourage others to vote, how to talk about issues with loved ones and strangers alike, a solid laying out of the issues they saw as important (even if some of it was exaggerated or complete manure). I saw a woman with a theater degree get her act together and organize this on her own. I saw them get a major politician so far on their side he was the key note speaker at an event that had little turn out and no real benefit to himself. I saw them present historic facts. I saw them lay out an action plan that was spreadable by the people there, and spreading it was the goal. The right (and everyone else) doesn't do this. The right holds rallies and butts heads with Antifa. The right says, "We have jobs!" These people all had jobs, too. That's why they spent 8 hours on a Saturday doing this. The libertarians, the moderates, the right wing... they could all learn something from what I attended yesterday. If you want to stop socialism from sounding good to more and more people, and if you want the left to remain out of power, everyone else has to organize like this. They have to spend their Saturdays out and about learning real world tactics. They have to get offline and stop thinking memes are enough. Issues need to be clearly laid out, make sure everyone in your camp knows them, and make sure they know how to talk to those who might not. Everyone outside of the left has to become visible and interact with people who disagree with us, otherwise their crap opinion and lines about us become what is believed by the ill informed. That's how you fall out of the mainstream. 

​I would highly recommend to anyone reading this to do what I did. Don't walk in with the mindset of disrupting... go in with an open mind. Observe. Learn. Absorb. Then go back to your libertarian, moderate, right wing, etc. camp and organize. Get things together. Get politicians on our side. Get people excited and fired up. Don't take on the entire world in 8 hours; take on two to three key issues and leave two to three to another group. Don't go in with the thought of fighting, go in with the thought of energizing. Seriously, go to these things on the left and take notes. Then let's all start doing the same thing. All of the non-left groups need to organize and embolden their bases, too. This is how you normalize and get front and center. Memes only go so far. 

The Summit

This is audio from the summit itself so you can experience it. Now, I cut out a lot of things like the group interactions. Also, there's some obvious noise. I used an external microphone and it was rubbing on my bag. 

If you want to hear Rep. Price speak, please go to the above video.

This is about two hours, and is audio only. Enjoy!

Make sure to turn the audio on in the video.
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An Art Gallery in Portland has Something for You to See

7/18/2018

Comments

 
​Update: The graphic has actually been removed. 
The image began making the rounds yesterday. It started out as just an image, then it became a meme, then people started posting the information for the gallery itself - address, phone number, name, etc. Here's what we're looking at:
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As I have often said, you can be as crazy as you want and get away with it if you label it "art," which is why the art world is hardly worth our time anymore. 

​I didn't have much to say on it, but did point out that Facebook chose to allow this to remain visible while a video I had posted the day before was covered for our protection. 
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The video was a description of types of government with some history in it. There was no foul language, no graphic violence, no nudity, etc. It was actually pretty benign (I was going to embed the video, but apparently they won't let me because it's so offensive). (Update: after some people mentioned it, Facebook did start covering the Trump graphic later on this afternoon after this article was written)

Anyway, it didn't take long for the image to take over most of the pages I visit, and the comments began pouring in. The most common sentiment was that maybe someone should throw a brick through the window. Second was that the secret service needed to be contacted. 

And here I am just thinking it was an unoriginal way of getting free advertising. Kathy Griffin already did it, try something new. 

Let's face it... most of this trash is just that... an attention grab. 

It is well documented that when something like this happens, the right wing tends to talk about it non-stop. Like so many other things, it won't be allowed to fade into obscurity as it should. It gets talked about. Calls start coming in. Protesters show up. Threats of more protests roll in. The graphic gets shared all over social media, usually with all the information for the place. And while the right is outraged, those who aren't so outraged just learned about a new place they didn't know existed. 

How many of you knew the Red Hen existed before Sarah Huckabee Sanders got kicked out? Heck, how many of you knew Kathy Griffin was let out of the nut house for more than New Year's every year?! 

Take a look at the long list of Hollywood folks who have come out and made absolutely bizarre comments about Trump and, in lesser cases, other members of the GOP. How many of those folks are actually currently active? Seriously, most of the people making the biggest stink are people who haven't been in any movies or cut any albums in a good long time. But the minute they come out and say something bizarre about Trump, everyone suddenly knows who they are again, and these long forgotten "stars" are reborn, if only briefly. 

For businesses, it brings media attention, and if nothing else, it gets their info passed around. They know the outrage won't last long, but they've reached a lot of folks who didn't know about them before, and it didn't cost them a dime. 

It's all marketing. And it works, while obviously being cost effective. Of course, in order for it to continue to work, the stunts have to get more and more bizarre. The run for this type of marketing, for now, will pretty much expire in 2020. If Trump loses, the topic has to change or go away completely if the winner is someone they like. If he wins, they may have to admit the bulk of the country likes Trump and this might not be worth it anymore (of course for some, I wouldn't hold my breath). 

Keep this in mind when the next one pops up. I'm not saying to not share it. Just keep it in mind. It's a marketing tactic, and sharing that info is helping them out. And maybe, just laugh at it instead of getting all outraged. They know the outrage won't last long, but the free advertising is forever. 
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What #WalkAway is Saying About the USA

7/6/2018

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PicturePhoto: Brett Sayles
In the past week or so, a viral video has taken the internet by storm. Millions of people have viewed the video, the man in the video has been doing a tour of shows on TV, and it's been an extremely hot topic on every social media platform you can think of. 

But what does it mean for the USA? 

Well, as I said millions of people have seen the video. It has apparently made enough of an impact that a lot of liberals and liberal media outlets are now calling it a fake campaign by Russian bots. Once you are labelled a Russian bot in this day, you know you've made an impact. As of this writing, there are 89.316 members of the Facebook group, and that number is ever growing (by the time I hit publish on this article there will be hundreds more members). 

If you take into consideration that some of those people aren't walking away from anything and are just there to support the people who are, you can assume about 3/4 of the people, give or take, are people who are actually walking away. There are women, transgenders, homosexuals, African Americans, Hispanics, etc. all joining this thing and leaving their stories as to why they decided to walk away. 

​Still, the about 90,000 members isn't really a huge swath of people considering it is a political movement. So why is there such an impact? Why are people getting scared of this enough to start accusing the group of being run by Russian bots? 

​I think we need to walk back a little bit toward Kanye West. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not taking away credit for this movement and giving it to Kanye. But if you think back towards that whole debacle, you'll remember the outrage over Kanye saying pro-Trump things and all his Hollywood elite friends were unfriending him and stuff... and he didn't apologize. He moved forward unapologetically. The heat cooled down eventually and he's really not in the news anymore. But he got away with "being a free thinker" without his career going down the drain. 

After that, the approval ratings for Trump among African Americans began to rise. Now, there's this growing movement being led by a gay man who is now all over TV and seemingly overnight became a very recognizable face. It is packed full of people the left thought they had a monopoly on. These are people they have been telling for years that the right despises and wants destroyed, people they tell that Trump was elected to rid us of. 

The movement is getting so much attention because it is challenging the minority monopoly. 

​A common theme I am reading in these testimonials - and I admit, I've read hundreds of them - is that these people were taught to believe that only the left cared about them and everyone else hated them, but now they are seeing that this isn't true. They are watching the left talk a lot without any action. They are watching non-citizens and criminals getting preferential treatment. Many had long time good friends who cut ties with them when they began to question the left. I am seeing a lot of those stories, many of them are heartbreaking. Decades long friendships ended immediately because of one questioning moment. They are watching the reactions to that one questioning moment and realizing in seconds a group of people who claim to be tolerant and supportive of them are suddenly not so much when they question anything... while the side who was supposed to hate them is answering their questions and not really caring who they are. 

Right now, Americans are tired of the division. Everything is racist. Everything is sexist. And it's getting tiring. I watched a news story tonight about a woman who was questioned while entering the pool of a housing development, and I listened as she and the reporters - both local and national - immediately decided it was because she was black and compared it to other incidents that have happened. Seriously, the local news reporter actually began the story by saying, "There's been a recent rise in the amount of white people calling the police on black people while they do every day things." I watched the video, and my response was "I need more information." I didn't pass off their claims of it being racially motivated, but I refused to immediately call the man racist. My complex has a pool. I don't use it much, but when I did, there were times I was asked for ID to prove I was a resident. Once I was actually escorted out because I hadn't brought my ID. So yes, I need more information.

But we don't do that anymore. The news is a race to report first, and apparently making sure you have the correct reports isn't necessary. Everything is motivated by hatred and there is no more supply of evidence or allowing the other person to have a side of the story. 

White people are constantly admonished for being racist, while also being told that we're born racist. OK, so you mean it can't be fixed? Then why are we trying? Trump has a supreme court pick coming up, and everyone is clutching their pearls because obviously abortion is going to be completely outlawed immediately and gay marriage rights are going to be taken away, leaving gay marriages non-valid. Anyone who wasn't born in the USA is obviously going to be deported immediately. Everything is a massive crisis, the world is constantly coming to an end, and only about .0000002% of things being reported are actually things that are true and/or are of major concern. 

We're watching as groups of "marginalized people" are lifting themselves up by tearing everyone else down. Women have to tear down men. Blacks have to tear down whites. Immigrants have to tear down birth citizens. Gays have to tear down straights. Transgenders have to tear down cis genders. No, we don't! You don't have to tear anyone down to lift yourself up! You gain actual equality by raising yourself and your community up, not by tearing everyone else down. And when you raise yourself up, the country is better for it. When you tear others down, we're more divided and less of a nation. 

90,000 people have realized this and are sick of it. 90,000 people aren't going to cause a revolution. They aren't going to cause a wave in elections. But they are a start. They are proof that we as Americans can come together and be just that - Americans. We need to get past labeling each other to death and just be one people. We need to learn about each other and stop taking someone else's word for it when they tell you what someone else is like. 90,000 people were a little surprised to find out that people who don't identify as left wing didn't hate them. Those 90,000 people are going to be the voices that let others know. And that scares the extreme left, because it threatens their monopoly. It creates free thinkers who don't need them to tell them how to feel about things anymore. And I hope it grows. This is the first sign of real 'hope and change" that I've seen in years. 

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America's Second Civil War?

7/1/2018

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This week has been an eye opener for me. As I cruise around the internet, I'm seeing more and more opinion articles about a second civil war in the USA. Some claim it is coming, some say we're already fighting it, and some say within five years we'll be in an all out war with each other. And I'm not talking about fellow bloggers, I'm talking about mainstream news sources. 

And I get it, tensions are high. The USA is extremely divided, or at least appears to be. People are afraid to publicly voice opinions. Groups are using fascist techniques to stop what they believe are fascists, and that means riots and violence. Mass shootings. Wanton threats towards politicians and average citizens who speak out. People frustrated because they are being censored or prevented from speaking. People attacking each other at rallies. Accusations of phobes and ists. Friends and families torn apart because of political differences. Doxxing. Anxiety over things they think are going to happen immediately even with no evidence of it being incoming. 

Among all of it, I see people joking about who would win and why. People puffing their chests out and saying they hope for it. They're ready. Locked and loaded. Bring it on. We can end it fast. 

Am I the only person on Earth right now who doesn't want to see us come to a civil war? Am I the only one who doesn't think we're at the point yet where it should even be getting discussed? Can we discuss this like rational adults?

Let's take a look at what civil war would actually look like. All you need to do is pick up a book about the first civil war in the USA and take those lessons... then amplify them because technology has advanced so far. 

What would you do if there was a second shot heard 'round the world? Yes, yes, I know... you're locked and loaded. But if you were face to face with a family member who disagreed with you, could you pull the trigger? Would you be anywhere near as enthusiastic? No one knows how they would really react if it came to that. You can puff your chest all you want, but reality is different than your own mind. 

What would it do to the USA? Do you want the answer?

The odds are, a second civil war would end the USA. Completely and totally. Look at the state of our world right now. If we were busy fighting among ourselves, do you think someone else wouldn't move on in on us? Here comes a bigger problem, because here comes Russia. Or China. And that brings on a second war that would last longer, if we could get on our feet to even fight.

If no one else moved in and the war was fought to the end, our economy would be destroyed. We would need to rebuild more than buildings. The stock market. The technological infrastructure we so depend on. Foreign alliances. Our national debt would be 1000 times worse than it currently is. China would, at the very least, call in their debts, which alone would destroy us. 

We're still not over the first war, so how long do you think it would take to mend from a second? Basically, it wouldn't solve the problem, no matter who won in the end. The country would remain divided. People would be fighting it for generations even after it officially ended. The old tensions would still exist, and new ones would be brought into the fold. 

Look at our soldiers coming home from foreign wars. The injuries. The flag draped coffins. The PTSD. How bad do you think it would be when a civil war was over and you had to live the rest of your days remembering how you had to kill your own countrymen? And we're not using muskets anymore. Now we're using drones with hellfires, weapons on burst, C4, and God knows what else. And there will be video for you to watch over and over and over again. 

This is what you are puffing your chest about. This is what we're discussing openly in the mainstream media. This is what some people are hoping for. Something that should be such a last resort that we'll do almost anything to prevent it. 

But let's step out of speculation for a moment and discuss reality. Before you sit down and decide civil war is imminent, I want you to shut off your TV. I want you to go outside. Not to a rally. Not to a protest. Go out into normal, every day life. What do you see? Do you see people ready to kill each other? Do you see the divide we're being told is there? Are you running in to the same things in person that you run in to online? When you remove people from their screens and their large protective groups, what do you see? 

I see people who talk to each other and don't weigh the pros and cons of it based on gender, race, sexual preference or anything else. I see people going about their normal lives - going to work, planting gardens, walking their dogs. I don't hear people talking about how war is the only way to fix our country. No one is attacking people randomly on the street. The drama online and in the media isn't there. I see people volunteering at homeless shelters and standing in line to help after devastating weather events. I see the drama as being condensed into places and groups and being highlighted for views and advertising dollars. Even people who take part in them stop mostly after the groups disperse and they step away from their computers. 

We're not there yet. We're not ready to go to war with each other. We're not even close. Every generation deals with the same sort of crap for different reasons. We haven't gotten there before and we're not there now. And before we hope for it, we need to sit down and think about why. To defend the country you love? The way of life that you love? Because both of those things would be gone forever during and after a civil war. 

Loving the USA and being proud of her means you do whatever you have to to prevent an event like a civil war. Knowing when we're not there and when we are. Hoping we never get there. Opening your eyes and looking at the reality of life, not what the media tells you it is and not what it is online. If the time comes, so be it. But let's take our time getting to that bridge.  

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Going All in on NC's Voter ID

6/8/2018

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Now, as many of you know, I am a long time resident of the state of NC, a transplant who came here 15 years ago and has called it home ever since. Over the last few years I have watched the battle over voter ID with great interest, as I am in favor of voter ID. At one point it was even made law. However, I only had to show my ID once when voting before the courts ruled it unconstitutional. 

See, apparently voter ID is actually voter suppression. Or, at least, that's what they're trying to convince us of. According to local activist groups, this is the GOP's attempt to stop African Americans from voting. 

Because liberals apparently think African Americans are incapable of getting an ID. This baffles me, of course, because I've never met an African American without an ID, whether it was a driver license or a state issued ID card. But what does it take to get an ID in NC? Well, before we get into the whole story here, let's examine this so you know where all of this coming from. From the NC DMV themselves:

North Carolina ID Card Eligibility

You can be of any age to apply for a NC ID card. To be eligible, you must:
  • Not have a current driver's license.
  • Be able to prove your:
    • Full name.
    • Date of birth.
    • Social Security Number.
    • Legal presence.
    • NC residency.
If you have just moved to North Carolina, you can apply for an ID card as long as you have proof of your NC address, such as utility bills, a rental agreement, and your vehicle registration card. All valid paperwork.
Sounds easy enough. But what about the cost? We're being told they can't afford the ID! So the cost must be limiting.

Oh... it's $13. Well! There you go! $13 doesn't sound like much to some of you, but to a lot of people that is big money! They can't afford to pay $13 for an ID!
You may be exempt from the fee if you:
  • Are legally blind.
  • Are over 70 years old.
  • Are homeless. If you are homeless, you must have a letter from the director of a facility that provides care for homeless people verifying that you are homeless.
  • Have had your driver's license canceled due to a physical or mental disability or disease.
No-Fee ID Card Program

After January 1, 2014, you will be able to apply for a free NC identification card to be used for voting (WTF note: this is actually out of date). To qualify, you will need to:
  • Prove your age and identity.
  • Prove your NC residency.
  • Be registered to vote in North Carolina.
  • Not have a valid driver license.
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Wait a minute! Just because you are poor does not mean you are homeless! 

Here's the thing. I included the out of date information above for a reason. That was the no fee ID that was put into place when voter ID became the law. If you are receiving benefits, they actually give you information on registering to vote on the application for things like food stamps. They'll actually help you register to vote. In order to receive those benefits, you had to provide something that proves your identity and residency. If you successfully did all of that, you qualify for a free ID card to vote with! 

OK, so why am I getting into all of this?

Well, voter ID in NC isn't out of the picture just yet. In fact, the NC GOP has proposed HB 1092, which needs to be approved by a 3/5 majority of both chambers, which is actually likely since the GOP has a super majority. At that point it would go to the voters to vote on. 

Yes, you read that correctly. They want to allow the NC voters to vote on whether or not to amend the state constitution to make voter ID a thing. That vote could happen during the November mid-term elections. 

Enter "Color of Change," the "nation's largest online racial justice organization." They argue that this law discriminates against African Americans. So what are they doing about it?

Well, Amazon is looking at NC as one of 20 possible locations for the newest headquarters. Apple is also looking at NC as a possible location for a new campus since we are an ever growing tech hub. Color of Change is requesting that both companies remove NC from their list of prospective locations because of HB 1092.

You know... the house bill that allows NC residents to vote on voter ID. It doesn't pass voter ID. It just gives the residents a say in whether or not they want this to be a state constitutional amendment. 

​According to this activist group, allowing the residents of the state to vote on it is discriminatory to African Americans. How so? Well, because, as you saw above, they can't afford IDs! Keep in mind, they won't be required to show an ID for the midterm elections, so these people they are claiming can't get an ID can actually still vote anyway. But apparently, they shouldn't be allowed to because... they might discriminate against themselves, I guess. 

It really does not make sense. These people the activist group claims to be protecting are going to have no issue voting. Registering to vote is free and it is easy to do. In this state, they pretty much ram voter registration down your throat; I've even been asked at local street fairs if I want to register (I already am registered, thank you). ID isn't required as of right now, so they can vote in the midterms without it. The house bill is opening up the constitutional amendment to the voters, meaning if you don't like voter ID requirements, you can vote no. If enough people vote no, the voter ID thing goes away. If they vote yes, then they obviously didn't agree that it was a bad law. 

So basically... the activist group is trying to turn away thousands of good jobs from the area in an attempt to prevent people from voting yes or no on a law they don't like and are apparently afraid they won't be able to turn people against. Does that not sound like voter suppression to anyone else? If you really do care about these people you claim to want to protect, let them have their own voice. Stop speaking for them. Get them out to vote instead. They have a right to get their voices out there to say yes or no on this bill themselves, they really don't need your help, especially if you want to speak for them without asking them, which is exactly what you are doing right now. 

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Is it a Gun Problem? Or a People Problem?

5/26/2018

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So I just had someone tell me that my view on gun control would change if someone I knew had been the victim of gun violence. So let's discuss that. Because what the person doesn't know is that I carry a gun because people I love have been the victims of gun crime. 

I want to talk about one specific friend. His name is Jamal. I met Jamal when I was 14 years old, through a mutual friend. We never went to school together until college, but we made it through our teen years together. He used to come over to my house all the time to play guitar, and he was very gifted on the instrument. Jamal was a very close friend. 

The last time I ever saw Jamal is now permanently burned into my mind. I was graduating from college and there was a procession through our small campus to the area where graduation was being held. We walked through a crowd of friends and family, and as I was passing one particular spot, a hand reached out and pulled me out of line. It was Jamal. He had come to campus to watch me graduate, and wanted to take a moment to introduce me to his girlfriend, because with all the craziness - and the fact that I had moved out of state and had only returned for graduation - he wasn't sure he'd get a chance for us to meet again. I could only spend a moment and then had to run to catch up. I didn't realize I'd never see Jamal again. 

Six months later, Jamal stepped off a bus a block away from his home. It was 10:00 at night and he was returning from work. It was a major road in the city with a lot of apartments and heavy foot traffic at all hours of the day and night. He was in front of a blindingly lit car lot. Out of nowhere, a guy walked up to him and put a 22 LR right in the side of his neck. As Jamal lay on the ground, the guy emptied his pockets and made off with $2. 

An hour prior to this, this same man had robbed a woman and her small child in a fast food restaurant. Jamal was his second victim of the night. He wasn't the guy's last victim of the night, though. He was eventually caught. The gun was stolen. He was charged and convicted on a bunch of charges, including murder.

The story doesn't end there. Yes, I blame the person who shot Jamal. But I want to discuss this a little further. 

Go back to the description of the area. It was a heavily traveled, heavily lit area. Cars passing, buses passing, Lots and lots of apartments. He was right at the bus stop when this happened. 

Now, let's discuss the aftermath. Jamal was discovered at 7:30 the next morning by a sales person from the car lot he was in front of. The guy called 911, but Jamal was obviously dead at this point. An autopsy was performed and it was stated that it took several hours for him to bleed out. 

Put the last two paragraphs together in your mind for a moment and think about it. 
  1. Someone heard the shot. They had to. 
  2. People walked by. People drove by. There's a chance people getting off the bus stepped over him. People may have stood near him waiting to catch the bus. 
  3. Someone in one of those apartments most likely saw him lying there in his own blood. 
  4. The people on the bus he'd just gotten off most likely saw at least some of the robbery. They most likely heard the shot and saw Jamal fall to the ground. 
No one called 911 until 7:30 the next morning. Jamal laid on that sidewalk for 9.5 hours. He was alive for a good deal of them, I don't know how many, but the autopsy said "several." 

So yes, I blame the guy with the stolen gun who shot my friend. But I also blame all of those people. I won't lie, it's been a long time. It's been about 15 years since the world lost Jamal. And I am still angry. If just one of those people had bothered to call 911, Jamal might still be alive today! His parents wouldn't have lost their only child. His then fiance wouldn't have lost the love of her life. He most likely would have been doing something amazing with his life. He might have a kid or two by now. He would have had some work to do in the hospital and would have a scar to remind him daily of that night. But he would have been alive!

If just one person valued his life. As a human being. As someone they saw get shot, or watched slowly bleed to death. If just one person had gone to a pay phone right there on the corner and had dialed 911 to give an anonymous report that someone had been shot, Jamal would have been the victim of an armed robbery instead of the victim of a murder. 

We say all the time that criminals won't obey laws and won't stop being criminals because guns have been outlawed. If someone wants to kill, they'll find a way. Bombs, knives, cars, whatever they have to use. 

But beyond all of that, every time there is a shooting, I hear a lot about what punishments should be given out to all of us who didn't do it, what rights we are expected to give up. I never hear anyone talk about fixing the gang problem, how exactly we should tackle the mental health issue we keep bringing up, root causes, etc. All we hear about is guns guns guns. Let's arm teachers. Let's write more laws. Let's put up metal detectors in schools. Let's repeal the second amendment. Let's pull some heartstrings by thrusting kids into the middle of a political debate they know nothing about and probably can't handle. Let's blame the NRA. Let's blame Hollywood. Let's blame the president. Let's blame video games. 

At what point do we sit back and say, "How about we discuss how we treat each other?" 

Look, the issue is multi-faceted. There isn't one fix all. Nothing done is going to please everyone. Everyone is always going to fight. But one thing we can work on is how do we instill the proper treatment of each other into our kids? How do we instill that value into ourselves? 

Are you bullying your classmates? Are you ignoring the people around you? Would you call 911 if you saw a man bleeding to death in the street?

How did you treat the last homeless person you passed? Did you feel anything? Whether you gave him anything or not, did you feel something inside that couldn't be described as disdain? Did you realize he was a person just like you? Did you feel bad for him or did you assume he was a drunk or a drug addict with no evidence and didn't deserve your pity? 

How did you treat the last waiter or delivery person you had contact with? Did you leave a tip? Did you get angry because of something that they had no control over? Did you give them a dirty look? Did you ask for 100 different things 100 different times instead of all at once so they could do one trip instead of 100? Did you berate or laugh at them? Did you assume they were uneducated? 

​How about the other people driving around you on the road? Did you flip someone off for doing the speed limit? Did you get angry because you wanted to drive faster and they didn't? Did you over dramatically pass someone and get too close when cutting in front of them? Did you tailgate someone to make them drive faster? Did you cut them off? Did to slow to a crawl even though it wasn't necessary to oggle a wreck on the road even though you've seen a hundred wrecks just like it before? Did you laugh at someone who got pulled over? 

I'm not saying you have to act in a manner that would have you up for sainthood. But at some point we need to sit back and realize that we don't treat our fellow human beings as fellow human beings. We treat people as though they are beneath us. We don't see the people driving those cars. We don't understand that the waiter isn't just a waiter, that he has a lot of other aspects of existence that make him up, and his reason for living isn't to bring you junk food. We don't see a homeless person as the same as us, they're an expendable nuisance instead of a Veteran with PTSD who needs help, not hate. We see people in trouble and assume someone else will do something. 

Even these mass shootings have no humanity. People are dying. The shooting isn't even over yet before the political fights begin, and no one stops to think about the kids who survived and what that several minutes is going to do to the rest of their lives. We don't think about that frantic feeling of every single parent of every single child within 50 miles of that scene. We don't think about how the teachers feel because they couldn't prevent a child from being killed even if they prevented another 30 from being killed. We spend a moment to point out the heroes, but don't think about how horrible they feel that they couldn't save everyone. The media spends weeks on end giving us every detail about the life of the shooter without realizing that the next shooter is taking notes and worshiping this person as a hero, using these details to form his own plan and outdo him because it's a game to him. 

We don't give any value to the lives around us of people we don't personally know. Hell, sometimes we don't value the lives of people we do know. 

So yes, I carry a gun. I will always carry a gun. Because I know people don't value my life. I know my life could be cut short for the $2 in my pocket or because someone wants my car or my cell phone. Someone reading this right now disagrees with me and thinks I should die because I am pro-gun. Someone is reading this right now and hoping for my death so I can't vote in the midterms. Or because I voted for Trump. Or because of the color of my skin. I carry a gun because I have, in fact, looked down the barrel of someone's gun. I have been robbed. I have been assaulted. I have had someone try to stab me for my wallet. I have had someone road rage at me and try to get into my car. And the only person who truly values my life is me. I carry a gun because I want to survive. I don't want to hope someone calls 911 for me before I die. I don't want to stand helpless as I watch someone slaughter someone I love for nothing. I wish Jamal had had a gun. So I carry a gun. 

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Know Your Meme? Let's Discuss! - Raising Kids

5/21/2018

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A friend of mine shared this on Facebook and I wanted to break it down. This meme could have taken up less space by just saying, "It's a lack of parental involvement." 

We're talking about school shootings, where the shooters are generally under the age of 19, most often 17 and below. Kids who will stand up, like those in Parkland, and tell us about our rights and their rights and what we need to do, but they themselves aren't willing to change the teenager culture that requires you to be pretty and cool at all cost or get absolutely decimated by your classmates. So we're going to look at this as it pertains to school shooters under 18. 

"It's the violent culture." That your parents allowed you to be subjected to. Your parents aren't paying attention to your TV habits or what garbage you are watching on YouTube and can't be bothered to at least try to set the computer to block content. So we're going to request musicians change their styles to suit your kids, that TV shows meant for adults produce kid friendly content, that YouTube censor content creators because their snowflake might find a bad video that was meant for adults. 

"It's violent video games." That were meant for adults. Video games have ratings for a reason, and odds are, little Johnny didn't spend his own $60 to get the latest Call of Duty game. Mommy or daddy probably bought it for him to shut his little whiny butt up. Why should I, as a legal adult with a job and money, have video games I enjoy blocked from sale because Karen and Rob can't control their little brat who screams until they buy him a video game where the point is to fight a war?! 

"It's violent movies." That were meant for adults. Little Johnny isn't going to the theater alone. I remember trying that as a kid, it didn't work. And guess what? My mother didn't buy me a ticket, either. As the parent, your job is to exert control over this sort of thing. Don't buy or rent movies your kid shouldn't be watching. Don't take your kids to the movies to see violent movies. Use the safeties on your devices and services to prevent your kid from sneaking them when your soaking in the bathtub. But don't tell Hollywood that they can only make certain kinds of movies to protect your child. Protecting your child is your job. Not Hollywood's. And I want to watch whatever I want to watch. 

"It's the lack of respect for human life." A lesson meant to be taught by parents. And if you are paying attention to what music they listen to, what movies they watch, and what video games they play, you are already half way there. Respect for life is a lesson parents should be teaching their kids regularly. From the value of the life of a butterfly to the life of their neighbor, you should be teaching your child how to treat life. 

"It's the lack of moms and dads." Which really could have summed up the entire meme. Be there for your child. You aren't their friend, you are their parent. You can be their friend when they move out and get a job. Until then, you are in control. You set the boundaries. Single parent? Still not an excuse. Your child should have a person in their life that fills that roll. It could be a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, a teacher, a pastor, or someone from one of the mentoring services offered. 

"It's the lack of communities." These are available if the parent takes the steps. It could be a community center, a church or other house of worship, youth groups, scouting, soccer teams, swim teams, basketball teams, cooking classes, after school activities. A strong community can be found in a lot of places. 

"It's a lack of church going." Again, this is up to the parents. My family was never religious, but when I was young my parents took me to church on Sundays anyway. I went to religious based schools. I grew up to be non-religious. I have beliefs, but I do not follow organized religion. The bottom line is, my parents gave me the option. If you are not religious, that, too, is fine. Religious debate with your child, on their level, is not a bad thing. It's a learning experience. What your child learns there will stick with them no matter what. And that's the good and the bad. I blame my religious schools for my lack of desire in participating in organized religion. Your child isn't going to tell you what the teacher said in their 1st grade class, because they might not grasp what was wrong with it until high school. That's what happened to me. I took the teacher's word for it, my parents never knew. Then I got to high school and remembered what she said and how it was incorrect... and it tainted my faith badly. 

​"It's the lack of attention to mental issues." Agreed. But again, this is on the parents. It is very hard to do, though. You have to look at your own child and realize something is wrong. No parent wants to admit their kid might need some mental help. No parent wants to admit their child isn't perfect. They are perfect to you. But realizing early that your kid might need help could help them to live a long and normal life outside of the prison system. 

"It's the lack of teaching right from wrong." Something we expect the teachers to do, but that job is also the parents'. Your wrong might not be the teacher's wrong. That teacher is there to teach them math, science, reading, writing, etc. Morals are on you as a parent. 

"It's the lack of love." Here's where the proverbial poop is about to hit the fan. You might not like what I am about to say, but I am going to say it... because someone has to. 

If you are not prepared to love your child, do not have one. 

That means... if you are having a kid because your parents are badgering you to.... because you are "supposed to"... because your political and religious leaders are telling you it is "your duty"...

​Then you are having kids for the absolute wrong reason. 

That child is not a clothing accessory. It is a human being that depends on you to raise it and teach it. To be a parent. Not to be a friend... a parent. Not to get you more likes on Instagram... a parent. Long after you are gone, that kid has to survive. They have to live in this world and function, and all they have is what you taught them. That means they're going to tell you they hate you sometimes. They are going to cry and scream. They are going to be difficult. You are going to have to sacrifice. You might not be able to get the latest tech products anymore because your kid outgrows their shoes every three months. You might not be able to take romantic vacations because your kid is going to completely destroy those plans. You might have to change your movie viewing habits so little Johnny doesn't watch Marsha get disemboweled by a monster in a horror movie. You might spend your vacation time at amusement parks instead of the hiking trails. You might have to go without some things so your kid can have something they need. 

That is a human being. And until you are willing to spend the necessary time to raise and teach that human being... until you are ready to sacrifice the things you want to own and do... until you can handle the tough times with the fun times... don't have kids. 

And yes, for some people that day is never going to come. You may never have a kid. And your parents might throw a fit. People around you might be beside themselves. You might have to hear "you'll change your mind" 60,000 times a month. You might get guilt tripped. You might have people say absolutely awful things to you because they are absolutely awful people. You might have to listen to people on your political side whine and cry about how you HAVE to make babies because the human race is going to die off or something if you don't. You will be accused of being selfish. People will ask who is going to take care of you when you are old (as if having kids guarantees they will). 

But at the end of the day, you need to decide what is best for that kid. If you are unwilling to do everything required to be a parent, don't be one. It's hard work. It's time consuming. It's thankless. It's expensive. And a good portion of the people out there are ready and willing to do that. But a lot aren't. And we need to leave better kids for our world. Not being in it 100% doesn't leave better kids for our world, and it isn't doing that kid any good, either. So forget about everyone around you. You are the one raising that kid. And if you aren't willing to do it 100%, please don't bother. 
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