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I Spent a Saturday at Feminist Activism Training so You Don't Have To!

8/12/2018

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If you followed along at the home page section of the site, you saw the lead up to the event I attended yesterday. It began with a simple daily email from a job board. In that email was a listing for "activist." I was so taken aback by this that I did a video showing off the add and the page to request information. Jokingly, I said I should attend. Well... my YouTube viewers thought that was a great idea, and I started to think it was, too. So I began the steps, went through the interview, and jumped though a couple of hoops. Then yesterday morning I found myself sitting in a very bougie room with a bunch of women and a few men.

Now, my intention was not to disrupt. I intended to go in, pretend to be a liberal feminist, make it through the day, and leave without them being any wiser. Trolling is not my style. I made it through the event exactly as planned, although I did leave about two hours early. 

Basic Run Down

What I attended was the HER Summit. There were about 50 attendees and Rep. David Price (D-NC) was the key note speaker. Everything was done in 45 minute increments, with breaks in between. It began with everyone breaking off into groups to introduce ourselves, declare our pronouns (pronouns were very important, they were even on our name tags), give our experience, and tell everyone our first concert... which is a lot of fun when you are middle aged. LOL! No, I wasn't the oldest person there by a long shot, but I was in the top ten.

After that we had a speaker who gave us the break down of how many women on Earth are going to die if the USA doesn't fund their abortions and present abortion as a first option to these women, a lot of anti-Trump ra-raing, and making fun of right wingers. After that, we had a young woman address us about petitioning the public, at which point we broke off into groups to roll play asking people to sign petitions against the Trump gag rule (link opens up Planned Parenthood's website. Also read these links here and here). 

Lunch was followed by the key note address by Rep. David Price, and if you'd like to know what he thinks of you, you can watch his speech below. I will give him credit... some of the things he said were dead on, especially in the Q and A portion at the end. But a lot of his speech was what you would expect. Now, before anyone gets their knickers in a knot, this video is mostly unedited. The only editing that was done was when my phone's video cut out because of the length of the speech and I had to start a new video and then splice everything together. I think I missed about two sentences of his speech. The video is almost 48 minutes long, just so you know ahead of time. 

​Make sure to turn the audio on in the video.
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After this was the workshops. 

We were given three options, of which we could attend two. The options were:
  1. Using the Power of the Vote
  2. Strength in Voice: Protest & Letter Writing
  3. How to Advocate for Reproductive Justice
Obviously, the second one appealed to me, but I declined due to it being very hands on training wise, and I wasn't sure I could pull that off without losing it. So I decided to attended the one about voting and the reproductive justice one.

I didn't make it past the first workshop. 

No, I wasn't kicked out. I opted to slip out and make a run for it towards the end of that workshop, because they decided to hand out a paper that requested us to give them the information of 15 - 30 friends and family members. This was names, addresses, emails, phone numbers, and age range. They weren't good about taking no for an answer, I didn't want to argue with them and draw attention to myself, and there was absolutely no way on God's green Earth that I was going to hand out the information of anyone I know, unsolicited, to a group at a summit those friends chose not to attend. I have a line, and that was it. I also wanted to get out early before they began trying to get me to sign up to volunteer to protest or get people to sign a petition I myself wasn't going to sign. 

Why Did I Do This?

Actually, I had several reasons. Due to the nature of how I found out about the event, my inner reporter got so curious the only way to quiet it down was to give in. But I had questions I wanted answers to. 

The original questions:

1. Why was this posted on a job board instead of an event page? Why does it require an interview to attend? Is this a paid position? Are they paying people to protest? And if so, who is paying for it? That's a bunch of questions, and they only got partly answered. No, this was not paid activism. That was a big question, and probably the biggest one I wanted answered. I promised to be honest about this event, and I am doing so. All activist positions were on a volunteer basis only, although the organizations had some paid job openings. They were legit jobs, though. Sorry if that busted anyone's bubble.

I never got an answer as to why "activist" was specifically posted as the job title, or why it was listed on a job board instead of an event page. I assume they wanted a smaller turn out for the event, which they got. However, David Price eluded to being surprised that so many actually came, and a big part of the petition signing process was getting people to agree to volunteer and/or attend a future summit. So I don't know. 

The interview portion opened up a can of worms. This event was super secretive. I had no information until a few days before the event. All I knew was the city it was being held in, but not the actual venue. Due to the city, I assumed it was a college campus. I was partially right. It was held in a hotel on the college campus. Parking was scarce. The hotel staff didn't know what the summit was about and when numerous attendees asked for "where is the feminist summit being held in the building" they had no idea what they were talking about. 

Staff didn't answer many questions, but other attendees were as curious as I was about the secretive nature of it all. A few others came through the same job board as I did, a few came after signing the petition and being talked into attending, some were recruited on the college campus, and others weren't specific with me. No one was willing to speculate aside from one woman, who assumed it was to deter "right wing protest." I would assume the same, honestly. With the way the extreme left acts whenever someone they don't agree with assembles, I would assume they'd expect it from the right as well. And who knows, maybe they would have showed up. After all, one of our representatives was there to speak and it was supposedly about abortion (it was, mostly. But the workshop I went to was about voter ID laws and several other democrat issues).  

2. Some of the things on the website were a little questionable, so I'd like clarification on some of their stances. I got the clarification I wanted to a point. Their big issue was the supposed "Trump Gag Rule" that "every republican has put in place, but Trump has expanded on." I provided three links above, two news articles and Planned Parenthood's piece on it, in case you want to know what that's about. The focus at this summit didn't appear to be mostly the domestic side, but the international side. There are audio links at the bottom of this article if you want to hear what was said. I honestly can't see what the huge issue is, but I may not be understanding the issue completely. Abortion isn't a big issue to me, I don't pay it much mind. I know that may bother some of you, but it isn't in my top issues. So many groups on both sides are all over that issue that I chose to take on others. It sounds to me like they are bothered that referrals aren't given for abortions and it isn't presented as a top option or an option at all (although it doesn't outlaw the act). I honestly don't see the issue and how this is killing women. Everyone knows abortion exists. And abortion shouldn't be handed out as a first option. Anything involving death should be a last resort. And even my mom agrees... and she's a big time democrat feminist. Again, though, like I said, I might be missing something. I'm currently doing research on the topic and not having much luck finding non-biased sources on it. I don't feel comfortable giving a solid opinion on it until I know everything I can find on it. So count me as neutral on the topic for now. 

3. I am interested in a first hand view of the "other side," instead of just getting hearsay. Yes, I plan to go in with an open mind and hear people out. I am, and always have been, the type to let people state their case. Obviously, I have my own opinions and I have my own inner circles. I think the best way to sure up your own opinions is to understand the opinion of your opposition. How do you have an honest conversation if you really don't know their thoughts on topics and the reasoning behind it? Besides, we get told all the time how insane the other side is - and they are told how insane we are - so I thought it a good idea to go in to the belly of the beast and see for myself. For example, voter ID. I don't agree with their stance or their reasoning, and I support voter ID laws. But I now have a better understanding of how they view it and why they seem to think it is racist. You'll hear that below in the audio. 

The Major Take Aways

So, what did I take away from all of this?

1. The left is just as paranoid as the right. No, really. The things the far right think about the far left is exactly what the far left thinks of the far right. A lot of topics were exaggerated. A lot of emotions were running heavy. There was a lot of time spent discussing how insane the right is. There was a lot of complete garbage about Trump. And local republicans, too. But a lot of what I heard them saying about the right was exactly what I hear the right saying about the left. A lot of their complaints about Trump mirrored the right's complaints about Obama.  

2. The actual people I interacted with at this event... were really nice people. There was, obviously, the occasional nut job militant feminist. There were a few there who very obviously hadn't formed solid opinions and were looking for people to latch onto and follow. But my general interactions with these folks were good ones. They were immediately engaging with people around them, even me, and I wasn't exactly... approaching anyone, at least at first. I was playing it cautious because I was alone and didn't know anyone there. Not all of them were foaming at the mouth Trump haters. While none of them were jumping on the Trump train, the overwhelming sentiment was that he's the president and they had to make due with it, getting out to vote and hoping to change the outcome next time... that raging and being horrible and screaming at the sky weren't going to change things. A lot of them kept steering the conversation away from Trump. I can respect all of that. You don't have to be happy about it, but accept it and move on. Instead of whining, they were planning for the next election. Cool. I respect people like that. 

3. Reaching across the isle was a foreign concept. While they were willing to move on from the election, they weren't willing to compromise, which is something the left keeps telling the right they have to do. 

4. Rep. Price doesn't see people. I've had interactions with him in short bursts before, but nothing like this. He entered the building while we were on lunch break. I spent my lunch in a rocking chair on the front porch of the hotel. He walked right by me and made no indication that he saw me. Inside, he spoke to his aid and some of the people who worked for the campaign, but not many others. Once on the mic, he seemed open and friendly and answered questions. As soon as his time was up, he reverted. He sat out front with his aid in the rocking chairs, and a lot of the attendees were around. He interacted with none of them. Didn't even look or indicate he saw anyone else was outside. 

5. Rep. Price has some fan girls. They were fan girling bad. So keep that in mind the next time someone comments about anyone who is a Trump fan. These girls were squealing like he was in the Backstreet Boys or something. 

6. They put huge emphasis on pronouns, but almost no one there identified as a gender other than male or female. There was a guy there that may have been transgender, but I'm not 100% sure (female to male). The organizer of the event apparently uses she/they pronouns, which I've never seen before, so I don't know what that means. Everyone else seemed to identify as what they were born as. Otherwise, the LGBT community was not really brought up. 

7. Their view of age was bizarre. That happens a lot. Believe me, I'm 38 years old, and people on both sides of the isle make me feel like a grandma, and somehow I'm less relevant because I'm over 25. Yes, both sides. But yesterday was weird. As I said earlier, I was not the oldest person there. I was probably in the top ten, though, although there was a major gap between me and those older than me. There were several ladies there of retirement age, and the first speaker was probably in his 50s or so. Even the feminists, however, treated him as more relevant than the ladies over 30. Something they might want to focus on! Anyway, I found myself in several strange interactions with other attendees, with one almost interviewing me. At one point, she asked me about my opinion on how far feminism has come since I've witnessed so much of it. Actually, I haven't. I didn't say that, but I'm only 38 years old! I've never been kept from voting, the issues they are passionate about were never withheld from me, I've never been paid less for equal work to a man, I have been in jobs where my qualifications and promotions landed me on a higher pay scale than a lot of men, and I have usually worked in male dominated fields where I wasn't treated as less than the men (including armored transport, where I was not questioned about my physical strength in comparison to the men). I grew up without an awareness that some people treated women differently than men. I wasn't always treated equally, but it didn't happen enough for me to think everyone was out to get me! I honestly didn't know how to answer her questions without blowing my cover. 

7a. Women need to speak the heck up. I'm not making fun, but these women are supposedly strong, empowered, independent women. Talk like it. Far too many of them speak in almost a whisper at all times, and even in small groups it was hard hearing them. Now, full disclosure, I'm partially deaf in my left ear. Even still, my right ear is fine and my left ear has some hearing left. In those small groups and small spaces, I should have been able to hear. But several women I saw their mouths move but heard nothing. Ladies, speak up. Especially if you are trying to be an activist. 

​8. The biggest take away from the entire thing, and if you read nothing else in this article, I hope you stop and read this. The left is organized and they are organizing. What I witnessed yesterday was a legit training on how to get strangers to sign a petition, to volunteer for their cause, how to encourage others to vote, how to talk about issues with loved ones and strangers alike, a solid laying out of the issues they saw as important (even if some of it was exaggerated or complete manure). I saw a woman with a theater degree get her act together and organize this on her own. I saw them get a major politician so far on their side he was the key note speaker at an event that had little turn out and no real benefit to himself. I saw them present historic facts. I saw them lay out an action plan that was spreadable by the people there, and spreading it was the goal. The right (and everyone else) doesn't do this. The right holds rallies and butts heads with Antifa. The right says, "We have jobs!" These people all had jobs, too. That's why they spent 8 hours on a Saturday doing this. The libertarians, the moderates, the right wing... they could all learn something from what I attended yesterday. If you want to stop socialism from sounding good to more and more people, and if you want the left to remain out of power, everyone else has to organize like this. They have to spend their Saturdays out and about learning real world tactics. They have to get offline and stop thinking memes are enough. Issues need to be clearly laid out, make sure everyone in your camp knows them, and make sure they know how to talk to those who might not. Everyone outside of the left has to become visible and interact with people who disagree with us, otherwise their crap opinion and lines about us become what is believed by the ill informed. That's how you fall out of the mainstream. 

​I would highly recommend to anyone reading this to do what I did. Don't walk in with the mindset of disrupting... go in with an open mind. Observe. Learn. Absorb. Then go back to your libertarian, moderate, right wing, etc. camp and organize. Get things together. Get politicians on our side. Get people excited and fired up. Don't take on the entire world in 8 hours; take on two to three key issues and leave two to three to another group. Don't go in with the thought of fighting, go in with the thought of energizing. Seriously, go to these things on the left and take notes. Then let's all start doing the same thing. All of the non-left groups need to organize and embolden their bases, too. This is how you normalize and get front and center. Memes only go so far. 

The Summit

This is audio from the summit itself so you can experience it. Now, I cut out a lot of things like the group interactions. Also, there's some obvious noise. I used an external microphone and it was rubbing on my bag. 

If you want to hear Rep. Price speak, please go to the above video.

This is about two hours, and is audio only. Enjoy!

Make sure to turn the audio on in the video.
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Formula 1 Says Goodbye to the Grid Girls

2/1/2018

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PictureSebastian Vettel, then driving for Red Bull, poses with grid girls at the 2014 US Grand Prix (Getty Images)
So it was released today that Formula 1 has decided to do away with the use of Grid Girls at their events. Grid Girls, for those who don't know, are basically models who perform promotional duties. As you can imagine, these young ladies are above average in looks and are usually dressed to highlight their assets. As has been stated, however, they are not exactly "scantily clad" as the women are at some events. 

There has been mixed reactions, but the Grid Girls don't seem too happy about this change.

“Ridiculous that women who say they are ‘fighting for women’s rights’ are saying what others should and shouldn’t do, stopping us from doing a job we love and are proud to do. PC gone mad,” now-former grid girl Rebecca Cooper wrote on Twitter.

​Source
The Women's Sport Trust has a different take:
“We strongly encourage sports such as cycling, boxing and UFC to follow darts and Formula 1 and reconsider the use of podium girls, ring girls and octagon girls,” the Women’s Sport Trust said in a statement.
​
“This is not a matter of feminists versus models, which seems to be the way many people want to portray this story. These changes are taking place because global businesses are making a considered choice about how women should be valued and portrayed in their sports in 2018. They deserve significant credit for doing so.”

​Source

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The fact of the matter is, these types of employment for women have been under attack for as long as they have been available. From women protesting places like Hooters, to fights about cheerleaders at various sporting events, feminists and others view this sort of thing as being politically incorrect and objectifying women.

​I have a different stance on it. 

Businesses may be looking at it differently, but why is that? Women's Sport Trust claims it isn't a matter of feminists vs. the models, but isn't it? What was it, exactly, that convinced businesses that this was not the right thing for women to be doing? 

The entire point of women's rights and equality is supposed to be based on women pursuing what they want to as a career. It's a big reason why I never disparaged women in careers like Hooters, or exotic dancers, or even women in the porn industry. The Gird Girls are not being forced to do this work. They are there because they want to be, and they seem to genuinely enjoy what they are doing. So why is that so wrong? Why can't we leave them alone? If you've got and can make money off of it, why is that so bad?

According to feminists, anything outside of an office is not suitable for women. That isn't equality. Equality is telling a woman that any job she can do, she should, if she wants it. Jobs like this are not available for every women. I could never be a Grid Girl! But other women can, and I don't begrudge them that. You get you some of that! 

No, it isn't high paying CEO position or a STEM job. Why does it have to be? It seems to me that women are a little too concerned with how other women make their money. 

I remember back in the early 2000s I was working in a heavily male dominated field. It never really dawned on me that it was "weird" for me to be doing the job. They hired me, I must have been a good fit. The position was as a driver for an armored car (money trucks). I had a partner that slowly trained me to do the heavy messenger work without the company knowing he was doing it, and when I was ready, I told the company I was fully trained. Once proven, I was tossed into the back of the truck. The job required long hours (horrendously long hours) and almost no days off. It also required extremely heavy lifting. From toting thousands of dollars in coins into multiple banks to moving pallets full of coins from the vault to the truck, it wasn't a job every women - or every man - could do. But I did it for three years. And I had an impressive bench press at the end of it!

The one thing that stood out to me was the reaction of other women when they realized a woman was doing this job. The men didn't bat an eye. The women had one of three reactions. I went into a small bank inside a large store to drop off and pick up, and someone who worked for the store saw me. She got very excited and exclaimed, "Our armored guard is a woman?! You go, girl!!!" That was a one time reaction. 

Some women reacted as the men did and didn't react at all. I preferred that reaction. My job was what it was, and if I wasn't capable of doing the job, I wouldn't have been there. 

But a lot of the time, women wouldn't work with me. I was completely dumbfounded by this reaction. The women were downright mean to me. More often than not, they would refuse to give me what they were sending out because apparently this was "men's work" and I wasn't capable of doing it, so they would "wait until they sent a man around." I had one bank hold deposits for two months hoping a man would be sent to pick it up. I finally went in one day and the head teller was out sick. Her backup was a male who had no issue giving me the items, even though it was two months worth of stuff. I hauled it out, he signed off on it, and all was right with the world.

The problem was, those women called my boss to complain that they shouldn't be sending a "weak" woman around to do this work and they wanted a male messenger (several of the women just wanted to flirt with the men, I later found out). Thank God my boss knew what I could do and what was really going on. Otherwise, it could have cost me my job. I wasn't making a ton of money at that job, but I was fresh out of college and in a new state. I needed that job terribly and couldn't afford to lose it. It was my first full time out of college. But with all these women refusing to allow me to do my job and calling to complain because of what they assumed I could and could not do without any evidence of either, I could have been put out on my butt and replaced with a man. 

What right did they have to decide what I should be doing for a living? Obviously I was capable of doing the job. Granted, I didn't enjoy what I was doing, but that wasn't necessary. I needed the job. And I did it as well as everyone else doing it. 

This is a big reason I support women in jobs like the above. Like my job in armored cars, not everyone can. I wouldn't expect these Grid Girls to all be able to do armored cars (although I'm sure many could). But I couldn't be a Grid Girl, either. Just like men, women can and can't do various jobs for whatever reason. They may be better suited for something that someone else can't do at all. I'm not a looker, but I'm strong. And I was doing what I wanted to at the time. 

These women are fully in control. If they, at any point, don't want to do the job, it is their decision to stop doing it. Feminists and women's groups shouldn't be convincing their bosses or those who pay for the service that this is wrong to do to women. It isn't wrong. It's a job, like any other. It's a need that can only be filled by certain women. If you think it is wrong and just objectifies women... don't do the job! But don't tell other women they can't, either. Trust me, they know all the pros and cons of the job they are doing. And they are smart enough to make the best decision for them. The point is, you don't know what is best for them. You only know what is best for you. 

​Equality and women's rights means letting women do what they feel is best for them. Let them choose what they want to do. They know what they are capable of and what benefits and detriments any job has. If you want to stand on the side of women, start believing in them and their choices. Stop treating women like they are too stupid to do what is best for themselves. They aren't.
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Why All These Sexual Misconduct Accusations Aren't Helping Feminism

12/19/2017

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Picture
For the past few months, we have sat in our living rooms and watched as Hollywood celebrities, politicians, and journalists have been taken down one by one on sexual misconduct accusations. Everything from inappropriate conversations to outright sexual assault and pedophilia has been pushed across our screens. The #MeToo Campaign even got awarded Time Magazine's person of the year. But is all of this doing anything for women?
 
Well, most likely, no. While we hear a lot about accusations, resignations, lost jobs, and ended careers, we aren't hearing a whole lot about litigation. There aren't many stories of charges being pressed or real legal investigations being done - there are some, but not nearly as many as you would expect with the daily barrage.
 
And the daily barrage is a big part of the problem, too. At this point, I'm starting to wonder if I am the only woman on Earth who hasn't been sexually harassed by a public figure. Or... was I, but I didn't realize it?!
 
In all seriousness, though. We are watching this come across our screens regularly. We've all had a public figure that we respected or at least enjoyed a lot get taken down in this. I won't lie, I was devastated when Bill Cosby was called out - one of the few actually being legally charged and tried for his crimes. I grew up watching Bill Cosby on TV. I had a record (yes, an actual record, don't judge me) of one of his standup routines that I listened to so much I actually wore the thing out. Bill Cosby was almost a part of my family. And I've watched many others go down since then.
 
What is it doing to us as a whole? The proponents of the campaign tout awareness. Well, we're aware. We know sexual misconduct in all of its forms happens. We know it happens rather often. We also now know that just the act of accusing someone can end a career or work in your favor in a political race. We are also aware that the accused doesn't stand a chance. Even if there is an investigation and he's proven innocent, his life is ruined. We are also aware that actual legal action is apparently not as important as destroying someone in the media.
 
We are also aware that any sexual misconduct that isn't male vs. female won't get the same attention. Men accusing women or men accusing other men get pushed aside and get very little air time. Just in the past week, a woman came out and said she was sexually assaulted by a female musician, and that got almost no airtime at all. The female musician is also still employed, to the best of my knowledge. She's made a few statements, on Twitter mostly, but her career doesn't appear to be over. 

But the reality here is also this: we're becoming desensitized. This is becoming so common that we're starting to say "Oh, there goes another one." No one is shocked anymore. No one is surprised. And I wonder how many people are even paying attention.
 
It is also bringing up a lot of questions. How many of these accusations are false? There were some gains to be had in some of these accusations, which does force one to stop and think. What is being done to actually prevent this in the future? What is going to happen to due process? We've chosen the court of public opinion over the legal system, and that isn't exactly constitutional. How is this going to affect the everyday lives of men and women? How can women continue to work and thrive in a professional setting when everyone is scared to death of being accused of something, so they just avoid each other? How is this going to play out in future accusations? There are so many now that more and more people are becoming skeptical. Is this going to make it harder for people in the future who have real problems that need real help? How much of this is actual harassment or assault, and how much is people being over sensitive or politically correct? This is also a side effect of everyone being offended by everything.
 
I am not, under any circumstances, saying the accusations are all false. But I want to point out the fact that when you have a constant barrage of them, non-stop, people do become desensitized to it, and they do start asking questions. We are, apparently, not allowed to not believe a woman when she says she was sexually harassed or assaulted. Due process is not allowed... she's not lying, period. Well, that isn't going to hold out well. There have been several cases of sexual assault that have been reported and were huge news, only to be later discovered to be untrue. And there are a lot that don't make national headlines as well.
 
If you have been sexually assaulted, go to the police. Period. Press charges. Get the bastard in front of a judge. Don't wait 40 years to say something. Don't go to the media and make a scene, and then let it go. Help other women - and men - who have been victims, but do it through the legal system. This has become a witch hunt, and all the questions and all the coverage are actually not helping women - and men - who need the help. It is making their lives harder. It is going to be harder for women to be believed in the future. It is going to be harder for women to get along in the workplace. It is going to be harder for women to advance. This isn't helping women, it is hurting.
 
Yes, your intentions may be good. But now we are faced with new challenges. A lot of people are asking a lot of questions. Or they are tuning it out all together. These things are not accomplishing what you want. It isn't raising awareness, it isn't helping victims, it isn't doing anything for women. It is making people turn the other way. It's no longer shocking. It's just a soap opera now.
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18 More Things Your White, Male Self Needs to do... Because Victims and Oppression

10/22/2017

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Picture
Oh, good! The Oppression Olympics continue! This week's competition - how to admit you are a racist, woman hating piece of trash! Brought to you by the editor in chief of some magazine no one reads! But hey, at least she got you to look at her and maybe someone will read the rag now!

​From her tweet storm:

1. Overcome your own transphobia. Trans women are women. Accept the lived truth of NB and GNC people, whether or not they are women.

Men, forget about the preferred genitals of the person you want to sleep with. If they have long hair and wear makeup, they are female. Or the bass player of a death metal band. They'll let you know. 

Trans women are trans women. If the person I am about to hop into bed with was, at some point, another gender, I'd like to know, especially if they still have the equipment of the previous gender. I may not be attracted to identical genitals. And if you want to argue with this, fine. I never want to hear you complain about a man with a small penis again. The genitals don't matter, right? 

As an aside, how come very few people ever seem to argue this or anything else really on behalf of trans men?!

2. Be pro-choice and be vocal in support of reproductive rights. (And generous! Give to @abortionfunds) Understand that the opposite of reproductive choice is forced childbearing.

Everyone wants your money. If you throw money at it, you win points towards not oppressing them! What you don't know is what amount you need to throw at any given cause to be considered as someone who is not oppressing them! 

Also, give up on your personal beliefs, religious beliefs, and morals because it oppresses them! You are only permitted the morals and beliefs assigned to you by the left!

3. Support subsidized birth control. Support nontaxed menstrual products. Ask your workplace if tampons and pads are free. Get over your embarrassment about menstruation.

Wow. OK. Again, throw money at it. Pay for their birth control. Support raising taxes to cover the cost of that birth control and every other social issue, but fight to make sure they don't have to pay into those taxes, because that's not fair, apparently. Demand that your boss pay for their feminine hygiene products, and it better be the good stuff, too! Discuss women's periods with your co-workers over lunch. But don't ever, EVER ask a woman if she is on her period if she is in a bad mood! Also, stop being embarrassed by something that you probably didn't give a crap about to begin with. 

4. Vocally advocate at your workplace for longer and more egalitarian paid parental leave, whether or not parenthood is part of your life. Advocate for lactation spaces. Advocate for on-site or subsidized childcare.

Tell your boss that you believe parents should get more maternity/paternity leave. But because you chose to not have kids, it isn't fair that they get that leave and you should get that leave, too, so you can bond with your cat. Advocate for lactation spaces, which is everywhere a woman wants to breastfeed. And don't freak out if you walk into a business meeting with three women breastfeeding. And don't look. And tell your boss that when they're done paying for their pads and tampons and birth control, now they have to foot the bill for childcare, too. Because all of this really entices bosses to hire more women. But we can complain about that later.

5a. Actually prioritize women's issues when you decide who to vote for. Understand that women's issues are your issues.

Vote democrat. Because no one else cares about women's issues. The democrats don't either, but they talk a lot about it. They don't actually do anything for women, but they talk about it. Just like they do with minorities! And talking is great! 

6. Whenever you are in a group of only men (social, work, church, etc.) ask yourself why. Then ask out loud why. Force an honest answer.

Never, ever have time and conversations with only people of the same gender. You should always feel comfortable having any conversation around mixed genders. After all, this is PC fairy land, so you couldn't possibly be talking about man things or telling jokes or anything like that! But don't disrupt us when we're having girls' night out or we're talking to our girlfriends. This doesn't involve you. And we need to escape men sometimes. You, however, should never need time away from the women in your life!

7. Cultivate genuine, intimate, nonsexual friendships with women.

Because I'm sure none of you have any female friends in your life that you don't want to nail. That never happens. You want to nail every woman you see, don't you, you pig?! 

8. Seek out women to be your heroes and mentors.

​Don't look up to people who actually inspire you! Are you out of your mind?! Make women your heroes no matter what! A woman with a male hero, however, is a gender traitor. 

9. Any time you see a building, street, institution, etc. named for a man, see how long it takes you to spot another one named for a woman.

Just because! We should randomly name streets, buildings, etc. after women who didn't do anything and no one ever heard of. 

10. Ask yourself what you don't do, for whatever reason, that you also think of as something women tend to do. (Sew? Send birthday cards? Care about skincare?) Try doing it for a while.

Yeah... the metrosexual thing died out and we don't like it. So get your man-bun on, slather yourself in lotion, and spend time at the park knitting me a scarf to stick that cute birthday card to, you pig! Because I'm sure you never bought a card for anyone and you probably don't even bath yourself. Women, on the other hand, have a self imposed two hour morning skin routine and a one hour evening skin routine. Be more like us! Next week, we'll talk about your foundation shade and how to contour. If you don't like it, you're part of the patriarchy. 

11. Talk less. In all spaces. At all times.

Never speak. No one wants to hear your voice. And your opinion is invalid because you are a white cis male heteronormative.... omg, I can't speak Tumblr. Fill that in yourself. 

12. When you need support, reach out to men as well as women. Create a culture of openness around yourself.

Uh... because... I'm sure you don't ask men for support? Ever? You only go to women for that? Actually, guys, when you need support, go to a close friend. Their gender doesn't matter. And you aren't required to create a "culture of openness." You spill your beans to whoever you want, and everyone else doesn't matter. 

13. Consume media marketed to women. Don't perform your consumption.

Read those 400 page magazines that contain 350 pages of advertisements. Learn about weird sex positions, take ridiculous quiz things, and look at pictures of models in clothing that cost more than your car, so you can understand why the women around you are always talking about other people's privilege. Then, even though the magazines are saying women like this, ignore all of it.  

14. Deprogram your beliefs about thinness being an optimal state of feminine beauty. Deprogram your beliefs that your desire matters.

Stop being attracted to whatever attracts you. If a woman approaches you and wants to sleep with you or date you, you must accept and tell them they are pretty, even if they are 5 foot tall, weigh 650 lbs., and have a face like a potato. 

15. Jerk off without porn for a while.

Mmmm. That houseplant is HOT! Stop being attracted to women. In this case, you can ignore the last statement. Women shouldn't turn you on. At all. Stop looking at women in a sexual way. At all. Admit to yourself that the women in those porns aren't being paid for what they are doing and don't want to be there. They might say they do, but deep down, they don't. You are objectifying those women who openly chose to work in the sex field and you should stop, forcing them to maybe leave and become dancers or street walkers instead.

16. Learn about racism and intersectionality, and do everything you can to empower and amplify black women and nbwoc

Or don't. Because no matter what, you are born a racist, sexist piece of trash, and nothing you do or say will ever change that. If you ever disagree with any woman or black person or non-binary person you are immediately racist, sexist, bigoted, etc. Even if you have overwhelming evidence. So you could learn about all of this stuff and descend from the heavens as a person with no bias at all, but if your skin color isn't right, if you are straight, or male you are still a racist, sexist, bigot. Because 2017!

​17. Befriend children.

Yeah, stop eating your young, damn it! Men never befriend children. All men hate children. Pigs.​

18-infinity. Please add more! I've got to go do other things now.

Yeah. Stuff. And PC culture. And stuff. Pigs. 

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Some Thoughts on the #MeToo Campaign

10/19/2017

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PictureImage source: hrovercoffee.com
When hashtag campaigns start up, I usually roll my eyes. They aren't usually good for much other than feel good showboating, like we saw with the #BringBackOurGirls campaign. That particular one was infuriating because a bunch of girls were kidnapped by a terrorist organization for Lord knows what reason - well, we know, but we don't want to think about it - and somehow our feels and a hashtag were supposed to stop the horror. Then no one ever spoke of it again. They did their part! They talked about it! Which is all people like that usually do... talk. 

And after the ordeal began with Harvey Weinstein, the #MeToo campaign began. I assumed it would be more of the same. The difference this time, though, was that they admitted it wasn't going to do anything politically or stop people from doing what they do. The point behind it was to bring to the forefront how bad the issue is inside and outside of Hollywood. It was a way to give voice to women who were victims, including the ones without the platform given to Hollywood actors. 

It's a good idea in theory. In theory, it brings women together and points out that they aren't alone. Some people are claiming that it does nothing because no names were named. That's not true. There were reports of numerous women actually naming names, and lawyers contacted the women. Which may point out an issue, if the women had filed complaints officially beforehand. Otherwise... yeah, I'd get my lawyer involved, too. Innocent until proven guilty. 

But my issue with this is on several levels, so let's discuss. 

First off, define sexual harassment. It used to be fairly clear. As the years have gone on, though, PC culture has moved in and the simple act of saying hello can be seen as sexual harassment. Now, as a transplant, I can honestly say I get it. Different things mean different things depending on where you are, and some areas of our country are a lot more rude. I grew up in NJ. In NJ, you don't walk down the street and make eye contact with people, and you certainly don't say hello or give "the nod" to passing strangers. It was a rough area of NJ. When I moved to NC it became more commonplace to make eye contact and say hello or at least nod (as more people move down and refuse to assimilate, this is also disappearing here). That took me a long time to grasp. It was a good two or three years before I began nodding to passing strangers, and now I refuse to not to do so. If you pass me on the street, I'm acknowledging you. Period. But in our current culture... that could be sexual harassment. 

​This video went viral some time ago and blew a lot of minds for different reasons. Some of those guys needed to get a reality check, and they were the point of the video. The guy that just walked next to her for five minutes. The guy that wouldn't stop trying to get her to talk. Etc. But the people that told her to have a good evening? Or said hello? Sure, they probably thought she was pretty and were trying to flirt. But that's human nature and they weren't being rude or creepy. 

Basically, with the broad definition of sexual harassment, we've all pretty much been victimized many, many times in our lives. 

And I'm sorry, but this broad definition makes life harder for us. I can't tell you how uncomfortable it is to be at a job where your male co-workers won't talk normally around the women because they are scared something they say could be misconstrued and they end up being accused of sexual harassment. Personally, I don't appreciate being treated like a fragile child, but they didn't feel they had much choice. And I got that. 

Besides that, how in the world are we supposed to get dates?! Any type of flirting or anything along those lines is becoming questionable. Women are claiming it "creepy" if an unknown man approaches them at a bar or club. That's how dates used to be made! I guess you can only get a date online now. Boy, remember back in the day when you were warned about the creepy people you met online and should only date people you meet in person first? Good times. 

​Second, an entire portion of our population was pushed away. Men were not only told they couldn't take part, they were attacked for doing so. They were told they were the problem and they needed to just listen.

That's not fair. Male actors came forward about sexual assault and harassment in Hollywood, and they were treated OK. Their stories weren't always front and center, but they got to speak and it was covered. But if you are just an average dude? Nope! This is about the ladies!

Men can be sexually harassed and/or raped by women or other men. It happens a ridiculously high amount of times. And due to societal standards, it is incredibly brave for a man to come forward and admit he was a victim. But he has nowhere to go, because when he does come forward, he's told to get back and shut up. No one talks about it. No one creates campaigns to bring awareness. No one tells women they need to check themselves, too. And let's face it, ladies. You yourself may have been guilty at some point of sexually harassing a man. You may have even catcalled a man at some point in time. 

Why aren't you being held to the same standards? Why are men expected to just take it, while you get to be a victim? 

If you really want to tackle the issues of sexual assault and sexual harassment, then you have to address all of it. No one gets a pass. The ladies need to reevaluate themselves as much as the men. And the men should be allowed a platform as well. After all, wouldn't it be nice to let other male victims know they, too, are not alone? That there is no shame in what happened to them? That it wasn't their fault and it doesn't make them weak or less of a man? 

The #MeToo campaign had good intentions. But until we can define sexual harassment to be less broad than "anytime a man speaks to me" and we can learn to include men and allow them a platform, it really isn't going to accomplish much but getting your feels out in a crappy headline at HuffPo. 

Further Reading:

The Problem With the 'Me Too' Campaign - Intellectual Takeout
Men in France Face on the Spot Fines for Sexually Harassing Women - The Local

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The Boy Scouts Start Accepting Girls

10/11/2017

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The Boy Scouts of America’s board of directors has unanimously agreed to welcome girls into the Cub Scout program and to forge a path for older girls to pursue and earn the highest rank of Eagle Scout, the organization said Wednesday.

​Source
PicturePhoto: Cub Scouts
You can read the full statement here.

According to the statement, there are basically two reasons they are doing this. To bring the values of scouting to both boys and girls, and because parents can't be bothered to drop their kids off at different groups.

On the first note, what was the Girl Scouts doing, then? Teaching the girls how to knit? I was a girl scout. My mom was a girl scout. We did the same crap as the Boy Scouts. We sold cookies. We earned badges. We learned survival skills. We went camping. We had educational meetings and trips. We did community work. It was just a cluster of girls instead of boys, and we wore a different uniform. Big whoop. 

So what, exactly, is the big deal with getting your girl into the Boy Scouts? 

On the second note... I'm going to try to stay family friendly here and not say what came into my head. Or the several comments that came into my head. The bottom line here is this: if you have multiple kids, odds are, they aren't going to want to take part in the same activities. You should have probably gotten a firm grip on that reality before popping out multiple little ones. You might get lucky like one of neighbors. She's got four kids, and they are all in swimming. She did move them to a different swim team because the original team wanted the older kids in one location and the younger kids about 45 minutes away from them, and practice was at the same time. But she got lucky. However, her one son also plays basketball. Two of them take piano lessons. This is a reality. When you have multiple kids, you are going to have multiple activities. You find a way to work it out or you start trimming down activities. Single parent? Married but your spouse really doesn't or can't help? Same outcome. If you didn't realize the kids would have different interests because they are different individuals with their own personalities, that's on you. And when you start getting into a herd of children, you have to come to the reality that not all the kids are going to get to do all the activities they want to do. That's just how it is.

From my own perspective, I liked being in the Girl Scouts. I liked having a girls only activity to enjoy and learn in. I got a feel for how life was that way. Being a tomboy at that age, I learned that it was OK to be a tomboy. But when the time came to learn some various things, it was far more comfortable to be among girls with female leaders than it would be in a group of mixed gender. 

I know not everyone likes the idea of splitting genders for activities, but I do. I hated the fact that my high school was all girls back when I was a teenager, but as I got older, I am grateful that it was. My high school experience was different from a lot of people I talk to, and for that I am also grateful. Yes, I still knew how to interact with the opposite sex, but our schools days were not filled up with girls swooning, endless gossip about who was dating who, etc. And I was more comfortable at school because I didn't feel like I had to impress anyone. And it was the same in scouts.

Like it or not, there are biological differences between girls and boys. If you put a girl like me in the boy scouts, there would be a terrible problem. I am and always have been very competitive. I don't like to be outdone by anyone. And I do understand that there are just some things a man is going to outdo me on. That does not, however, stop it from frustrating the crap out of me. I have always been the type who would downright hurt myself to outdo everyone else. Separating me from the boys, at that age, probably saved me a great deal of bodily damage. And we know this because I did play on a unisex indoor soccer team as a kid for one season. Soccer was always my sport. I got so horribly hurt that season from slide tackling boys and playing that game like a downright beast. The only reason I didn't cripple myself was because one of my teammates - a boy - was one of my best friends from school and he regularly played interference. 

But a lot of folks these days don't want to admit this. They don't want to admit that, yes, there are some things a boy is going to outdo a girl on. And yes, there are girls who will hurt themselves to prove they can do anything a boy can do and possibly better, because mommy told them so. I'm not saying to coddle your girls and treat them like they are made of glass. I'm not made of glass. Anyone who knows anything about me knows I'm a little more rugged than your average girl, something that carried over from my youth. I do compete with the men, I do work jobs that are seen as "men's work," and I do it well. I've never been worried about getting dirty or getting hurt. And I do think we need to encourage our girls in this nation to at least try. But we also need to let our girls know that you aren't going to win every time, and that's OK. Sometimes a man is going to best you at something, and that's OK! 

​We also need to teach our girls and our boys that it is OK to do things separate from each other, It's perfectly fine to be in boys only groups or girls only groups. It's OK to be more comfortable in certain situations separated from the opposite gender. Let's face it, there are certain things kids are going to learn or do that they are more comfortable not being with the opposite gender for. I don't see any of this as forcing kids into gender rolls. I see it as allowing your child to be safe, comfortable, and able to form themselves. It's the same idea I have about kids playing with toys designed for the opposite gender. I don't care if little boys play with dolls or little girls play with trucks. But I do care if you force a little girl to play with trucks when she wants to play with dolls or you force a little boy to play with dolls when he wants to play with trucks. 

Your girls and your boys are not the same. All your kids are not going to have the same interests. And it's OK for boys and girls to do some things separately. Let your kids be kids. They aren't a social experiment, they are human beings. 

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Dr. Who is a Woman. Bring Out Your Crazy

7/17/2017

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PictureBBC
Oh, my God. I have to admit, having an overwhelming amount of geeks in my inner circle, I am a little surprised this hasn't been completely taking over my feeds on Twitter and Facebook (it wouldn't be mentioned in RSS or anywhere else, really). 

I am a casual Dr. Who fan. To be honest, I like the show. I just don't have access to watch it regularly. So I can't honestly call myself a fan... just a casual one. But when the news came up that the 13th Doctor Who was to be a woman... it was really ok. 

Seriously, I am so underwhelmed by new characters in anything. I'm the chick who watched one of those horrible racist Buzzfeed "questions for *group* from *group*" videos and saw a woman make a comment about how everyone would freak out if Idris Elba ever got cast as James Bond, but she'd go see it twice, and I thought to myself, "Actually, he'd make a decent Bond. Someone needs to make that happen." 

I'm not there with Doctor Who, only because I haven't got the slightest idea who this actress is. I am, however, on the side of, "*yawn* Hope she does a good job." I'm willing to sit back and give her a chance. Why the heck not?

But I knew what was coming. Oh boy, did I know what was coming! So I just spent more time than I want to admit to on Twitter looking through the comments on this. I found gems like these:

Lots of comments about all the hate. I was expecting tons and tons of hate. I mean, boat loads. More than I could sift through in a day. I read articles about the reaction, and they lead me to believe the same thing. There was just going to be... an endless supply of hate being flushed through my motherboard. 

There were clap back articles aimed at the haters. There were comments and articles about how let down people were that there was so much hate. I saw endless comments aimed at all the "whovians" who claim they will stop watching the show. 

And I began my long journey through the hashtags. I went to every available Dr. Who hashtag on Twitter, because all these articles and comments said all the hate was coming from Twitter! Oh, you crappy Twitter people! Always being sexist pieces of work! 
Picture
And there is was. A guy using "Wonder Woman" as his handle on Twitter. He's hating on Dr. Who's female Doctor! OMG! There he is, I found him, you guys!

His comment was... underwhelming. It was... well... not really hateful.

But it was the only one I found that had anything resembling a negative comment about it.

Literally every other tweet I saw aside from this was like the above gallery images, or people talking about their small children saying stuff they obviously didn't say because it was far too adult, or people getting the warm feels because their daughters would see a female Dr. Who, because there are no other strong women characters out there after all, am I right?! 

I searched. And searched. And searched. All I saw was excitement about the new doctor. I saw no negativity. I did see one guy who decided the Dr. Who #14 would be a key, and another guy who was apparently upset the new Dr. Who isn't a border collie. But you expect that sort of weirdness on Twitter. 

So why all the clap backs and all the enraged comments about all the sexist people on Twitter? 

I'm not saying those comments don't exist. I'd be shocked and amazed if there weren't some I didn't find. Seriously, it's Twitter. But I don't think there was the amount these people want you to believe there was. If there had been, I would have come across some. Folks, I searched for over an hour. I hate admitting that, but I did. And I found one that wasn't really hateful... it was a good question. It really was. But in the long run, irrelevant. However, it was the only one I found that wasn't just over the top thrilled about the new Doctor. 

I really don't think people care as much they want to believe people do. How many people would completely lose it if Idris Elba was cast as James Bond? I'm sure some. But I think an overwhelming majority would sit back and say, "Yeah, this could work. He's going to be a killer Bond!" (And he would. Someone, please. Make that happen)

It's the same thing here. I am seeing more people either overly excited or just ready for the next chapter to begin and willing to give her a chance. 

Sadly, if a lot of these people admitted that an overwhelming majority of people are either excited or just simply willing to accept it because it fits the story line and history instead of being outraged about it, they'd lose their identity. And that's the issue. That's the issue I have with modern feminism anyway. It creates problems where there aren't any, ignores real problems, and then beats you over the head with it until you want to scream. If these people sat back and realized the majority of people simply don't care that the next Dr. Who is going to be female and are going to watch it regardless... they wouldn't know what to do with themselves. It's like those people everyone knows who seem to feed off of drama, like they'd die in a corner somewhere if the drama let up for five minutes. These are those people in a large group. 

No one cares. In the end, no one cares. 98% of these people are going to watch anyway. I would assume a large quantity of the feminist fist pumpers aren't going to watch, and probably never saw an episode of the show to begin with. They're there for the drama, real or imagined. The show will go on. Time will tell if she does a good job or not. And that, too, will not be about her gender. 
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Girl Claims Cops Sexually Assaulted Her... Cops Release Body Cam Footage

7/11/2017

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Picture
See this girl? This is why I could never be a cop. My hat's off to these cops, because they have the patience of saints! 

While I was watching this - knowing that it was released because the girl was claiming sexual assault - I thought about another video I had seen that involved cops dealing with a young girl. The girl was one of those "sovereign citizen" (or article 4 free inhabitant) people, and she was being very belligerent because she decided she didn't need to do anything the cop said. Because as a "sovereign citizen," as the woman put it, she was covered under the Constitution but not required to follow any of our laws. OK. Not sure how that works.

Anyway, the cop finally got her out of the car he was trying to tow away, and he was going to arrest her. He needed to remove her backpack, and she refused. A whole new battle began, but at this point, the girl started telling the cop it was rape. She also began screaming that she was being raped.

See for yourself. She starts yelling about rape about 3:07:   
This is one of the issues I have with modern day feminism and leftism. The definition of "rape" has become so broad that no one knows what it is anymore. That goes for a lot of words such as racist, sexist, homophobic, and, sadly, hero, among many others. 

The girls in both of these videos truly believe they were being sexually assaulted. I have no doubt in my mind. The first one, no matter what the cops or sane people say, she is going to hold fast to the idea that she was doing nothing wrong and that cop sexually assaulted her. She probably feels the body cam footage backs up her story. She has an alternate view of reality from the rest of us.

But this is becoming more and more prevalent in PC culture. And it is going to make life for the rest of us very difficult. Because by her logic, if you are in a narrow hallway with her and pass by, accidentally rubbing your upper arm across her breast, you are now guilty of sexual assault and should be arrested and charged with such. 

This isn't bringing awareness to or helping to stop "rape culture." All it does is further divide and separate us. As a woman, I can tell you, I already have to deal with men treating me with kid gloves only because they are unsure of whether or not I will misconstrue their intentions, words, or actions and cause them a lot of grief. I'm not that type of woman, but they don't know that and are too afraid to take a chance. This results in me losing out on possible good friendships with the men around me. 

Aside from that, you are spitting in the face of every person on Earth who has actually been sexually assaulted or raped. Those are real people who had their lives altered in ways you could never possibly imagine. They are going to be dealing with that for the rest of their lives. And you are making light of what they have actually been through. Yes, you are making a mockery of it and should be ashamed of yourself. 

I don't think I'll see it in my lifetime, but I'd love to see us stop this garbage and come together as a people. We aren't against each other, folks. You aren't my enemy. Stop teaching our younger generations that everyone is out to get them, they are entitled to everything, and the ultimate goal is to be the biggest victim you know. It isn't. The ultimate goal is to live a good life. Period. And none of us can do that while we're all each other's enemy. 
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On "Free Bleeding" and Modern Feminism

6/30/2017

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Picturekirangandhi.com
Article that encouraged this: WTF DID I JUST READ ABOUT FREE BLEEDING OMG

The above link opens an opinion piece about an actual article about “free bleeding.” You can choose to read that if you so desire, but I won’t subject you to it myself.

For those wanting to know, basically, free bleeding is the act of not using feminine hygiene products during the menstrual cycle. Apparently, a woman’s period is taboo and free bleeding is supposed to help stop that. I want to discuss this, as well as third wave feminism.

On the topic of free bleeding:

  1. Do you pee and poop on yourself, too? Because it isn’t any different. You can argue that until the cows come home, but the bottom line is that period waste is just that… waste. It is a product the body produces for the specific purpose of cushioning a baby in the womb, and when there is no baby when the egg comes down, the lining is shed out of the body. It has become a waste product.
  2. I was not aware that periods were taboo. Yes, I get that they are not discussed as part of casual conversation, and aren’t reacted to the same as if you were talking about what you did this weekend. But we don’t openly discuss our bowel movements, either. Does that mean dropping a deuce is also taboo?
  3. Something stated in the article was about this bringing awareness to the fact that feminine hygiene products are not available all over the world. OK. How? If this is a serious concern to you, then do something about it. You could do something like a GoFundMe or open your own charity to supply third world countries with these products. If you do it right, some of these companies will even donate once in a while, and you may get a deep discount the rest of the time. You could do a lot of good. And it would be tangible. You might even be able to raise enough to get them something they are very concerned with like feminine health.
  4. How much disposable income do these women have, because I can bet it is more than me! Blood is really hard to get out of clothing. So if you are free bleeding, those clothes are basically history. Are you rich enough to replace your wardrobe once a month? If so, how do I get on board with that life?!

Look, as a woman, I can honestly say… women’s rights have come an incredibly long way. Do we have more work to do? Of course! There are still inequalities out there, many of which you don’t realize exist until you get there. And I am all for working on those issues. But free bleeding is not something I am going to get behind. I don’t see it as being an issue at all, let alone a major issue.

What causes all of this? I can use my mother as a case study. My mother isn’t a third wave feminist, but she’s an old school feminist. However, my mother thinks everything is sexist. Any time in my life I had issues at work, it was immediately because I’m a woman. I was being treated unfairly because I am a woman. And when I stopped and said something like, “but it happened to the men, too” or “no, I actually screwed up,” she’d look at me very confused.

But my mother had issues coming up in the world. She’s 67 years old, so I have it better than she did. But she experienced having to go to court because her parents wanted her out of school after eighth grade so she could work and contribute to the family, because, as they said, there was no point in educating a woman. And when the courts said they disagreed and she had to go to high school, her parents wouldn’t pay for uniforms, books, nothing. So she went to school during the day and worked at night.

As an adult, she married late for the time and spent her 20s being introduced to new people as a spinster. After she finally got married, she got pregnant but miscarried… only to be ridiculed and accused of having an abortion. She got pregnant again – with me – and when I was about two years old, her marriage went bad. Having no college education and working in extremely low paying jobs, she wasn’t able to get out. When she tried to get government benefits and help leaving an abusive marriage, she was turned away. So she was forced to stay in a marriage that had gone bad and was abusive. That lasted almost 39 years until my father passed away in April.

Guess what we found out in April?! Oh, goodie! Mom had zero credit!!!! Mom’s credit had been stellar when she married, and they were able to get a mortgage and all based on her credit. But when my dad died… nope! Apparently, anything credit wise during their marriage reflected on my dad’s credit, but not hers. So to help her out, I allowed her to trade my car in towards a new car. Now, I got the car. But mom gets the credit for the car payment because she needs to build her credit back up.

During my dad’s illness, their joint bank account was shut down by the state. Now, I would assume this gets done if the tables are turned, but I don’t know. All that money belonged to both of them. Everything was joint: bank accounts, car titles, the house. But when he got sick and the state stepped in, it was all considered his. She spent over a year terrified that the state was going to lock her out of her own home the way they had locked her out of her own bank account and retirement fund.
Where were the feminists? Free bleeding.

A few years ago, there was a female deputy sheriff that was fired from her job… because she cheated on her husband. He wasn’t a cop, and the other man wasn’t either. She wasn’t using work hours to cheat, either. But the local news pulled out this old law that was still on the books that said that a woman can legally be fired for being unfaithful to her husband. A man couldn’t. Where were the feminists?

Where are the feminists when women cut each other down? I posted a link to twitter just yesterday from Julie Golob where a woman attacked her for being pro-gun by calling her a “man lady.” When I worked at a gun shop, I had a woman tell me I wasn’t a woman because real women don’t carry guns. So let me get this straight, a strong woman who takes her personal safety in hand and learns to take care of herself isn’t a real woman? She’s a “man lady?” The feminists manifesto calls for women to be weak and defenseless?

Where were the feminists when I was working in an extremely male dominated field (armored cars) where the men treated me as though I wouldn’t have been hired if I couldn’t do the job, but the women treated me like I was a freak of nature and actually tried to prevent me from doing my job, because they assumed I couldn’t do it? When they literally told me I shouldn’t be doing “men’s work” and should find a more suitable job for a woman?

So no, I don’t have an issue with the idea of feminism. I do have an issue with third wave feminism that focuses on things that don’t matter and things that make them feel good. I support equality across the board. I support defending both men and women when something is wrong. I believe women are the biggest enemy to women. And I will not take part in third wave feminism to feel good. I’ll keep being me… the chick who can laugh at herself, makes her political choices whether they are in the box or out of it, who takes jobs in male dominated fields if the job appeals to me, etc.

​And sorry, but I like underwear and jeans, so I won’t be free bleeding in this lifetime.
 

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