She was the Walking Embodiment of Everything We've Been Saying

Law enforcement stands watch outside of the YouTube headquarters on April 3, 2018 in San Bruno, California. (Justin Sullivan/Getty Images/AFP)

Yesterday, a young woman walked in to the YouTube headquarters and opened fire, injuring three people and then taking her own life. 

Everything played out as it always does. Cries for gun control began before she was done shooting. Speculation. Accusations. No one waited for facts. Bad information released. Pundits. Twitter rampages. Hashtags. Crying celebrities. Memes. 

But I listened to the reports coming out and realized something no one wants to talk about. She was the embodiment of everything everyone always says after these shootings. 

For years, smaller media personalities and pundits have been saying that the mass attention given to these shooters is breeding the next killer. We spend days - weeks in some cases - analyzing the lives of these shooters. Who were they? What were their political leanings? What was their reason? We want to know everything there is to know. And every slight bit of information that they get comes to us via our computers and TV screens. These shooters become household names within minutes. And they can be remembered for years to come. People who were small children for the Columbine shooting can still name the killers. Their parents are still interviewed on TV and have done TED Talks. 

The Parkland shooter is getting letters, money, and other "fan mail" from "supporters." Which blows our minds. But it really isn't that strange. People write fan mail to serial killers. Women go out of their way to marry serial killers who are in jail. Why?! And why - knowing this - does it surprise us that mass shooters get fan mail, too? 

The point is, these shooters are becoming famous. They are their own category of infamous, and thanks to the regular coverage, they are household names. Stars. 

Now look at the YouTube shooter. Why was she there? What was her main gripe?

YouTube policies. She felt she was being censored and stifled by the YouTube policies. She was once getting views - possibly for being weirdly creepy, but what does she care? - and then those views began to slip. She felt fame slipping away. No one was watching anymore. No one cared. 

A lot of people these days are clamoring for fame and recognition because they think life would be one big party if they were just famous. And they don't care why they are famous. Just look at social media. Look at some of the bigger celebrities out there. What, exactly, is Kim Kardashian famous for, anyway? What does being "Instagram famous" actually get you in life? You have 600k followers on Twitter? So what does that get you? 

But she was the embodiment of that. She wanted to be famous. And she didn't care how. She thought she had it... and then it began to slip away. How can she get it back? Well, the mass shooters get famous really fast. 

No, I really think her goal was fame. I believe she went into that building with a chip on her shoulder. I believe she was mentally unstable. You'd have to be, not only to carry out something like this but to be so obsessed with fame and so taken over by it. But I believe she saw what has been going on in the world, and realized a mass shooting of note would make her a household name. She'd be dead, but she'd be remembered forever. She'd be famous. Finally. 

And now she is. 

​Look. 98% of the YouTubers out there aren't getting much attention. Famous YouTubers are actually rare, but a good portion of the people who go onto that platform expect that, in less than a year, they'll be making a full time income off of their YouTube channel, and maybe within six months after that they'll be doing commercials on TV like Liza Koshy or they'll be TV stars like Logan Paul. People like Liza Koshy and Logan Paul are the exception, not the rule. But people don't get it. And a lot of them get upset when it doesn't pan out for them. And now someone has shot up YouTube over it. 

I have a YouTube channel. And I'll be honest. Not many people watch it. But I do it anyway because I enjoy it. This website doesn't get the traffic a lot of others do. But this is my outlet. This is where I blow off steam. I love writing and I love current events. This is, for me, a passion. And if people read what I write, that tickles me to death. If one person reads it, I'm thrilled. My YouTube channel isn't doing as well as my website. Actually, my videos do better when I upload them here then they do at YouTube. A lot better. But I keep making the videos because I really enjoy it. And what I get out of it is what I got out of it last night. I did a random live stream last night. It was not announced, I just plugged in and did it. A couple of people dropped in and joined me. A couple of those people stayed from a few seconds after I went live until I logged off an hour and twenty minutes later. We talked and we laughed and we had a great time. And I thoroughly enjoyed that live stream. It was so much fun. And two people sent me "super chats," meaning they actually sent money. I was, to put it mildly, amazed by that. I wasn't expecting it, and I didn't ask for it, and I'm still blown away by it 24 hours later. It was a total of $30, but I am blown away that people handed me their hard earned money because they enjoyed the stream, too. A few people told me they enjoyed my videos and my site and thought I needed to be heard on a larger scale. Those words put me on cloud nine. I honestly can't even begin to tell you how good that made me feel. 

The difference is, to me, this is a passion and a creative outlet. I don't expect fame out of it. I do it because I like it. I'm spending money on this website to make it run. But that's OK. I don't expect to be a big name in the political world. It's amazing to me that anyone reads or watches what I do. And when someone tells me they do and they enjoy it, it truly does put me in the clouds! At no point am I going to blame anyone else because I'm not making back what I am putting into it, or because I'm not a household name, or I don't have several million viewers on YouTube and I'm not making a living making videos. My reasons are different. 

We need to stop making bad guys famous. We need to stop making stupid people famous. We need to stop chasing fame at all cost. You do things like YouTube because you enjoy it, not to make a living or become famous. If you do, you are going to be disappointed. Do you know why people enjoyed that live stream last night? Because I was just there to have fun. I was bored. And it got silly, but was still informative. They were entertained. And I was entertained. 

You can take a picture of something without being in the picture. You can be on social media without it taking over your life. You can have hobbies you enjoy that make you no money. Not everyone has to like you. Your life can be full even if you aren't a household name. Your life can be dull or it can be a party all the time just by doing what you do. Nothing going on in your life - good or bad - is the fault of anyone but you. Fame isn't all it's cracked up to be, and sure as hell isn't forever. 

The media has an agenda. They aren't going to stop making mass shooters household names. They aren't going to stop parading out kids to tug at your heartstrings (and make them famous, too, which is also what they crave). Let's not help them.

I am joining the other smaller media outlets. I am not going to say the name or post the pictures of mass shooters anymore. I am also not going to discuss the puppets paraded out by the media who also crave fame at all costs unless they do something truly newsworthy. But as for the mass shooters and criminals, no more. No more names, no more pictures. I'll discuss the crimes and the legislation or suggested legislation that comes from their crimes, but their faces and names will not be uttered here anymore. I will showcase heroes. Only the good guys. I hope you will join me. It's time to stop making the bad guys famous. 

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