The Death of Doing the Right Thing

Screen capture from video by Laura Wolf

This story showed up on the news recently. Local as well as national. Now, to be clear, I am in no way disparaging this young lady, and I am thrilled she was given a scholarship. I'm glad there are still some out there that see value in rewarding good people for good deeds. And I am glad there has been a focus on a good person instead of an evil maniac. We need more focus on good people these days. 

But it also saddens me deeply. Let me explain. 

This story reminded me of the reaction to the young man who was photographed tying the shoes of an elderly customer, and the story of the cashier who went out of his way to pick up and return a $20 bill a blind man had unknowingly dropped. It also reminds me of the store employee who taught a teenager how to tie his tie for a job interview. While all four of these are great stories, it saddens me that they are news. 

The kindness these people showed should be basic kindness. The type of kindnesses you do for others just because it is the right thing to do. But the fact that they are so nationally news worthy means these basic kindnesses aren't so basic anymore. They made the news because so few of us still practice basic kindness. People are showering these people with gifts because we so rarely see people treating each other this way anymore. 

Somewhere along the line, we lost the basic kindnesses we should have. Simple things like not letting the door slam into the face of the person exiting behind you. Helping the elderly and disabled. Helping a child who got separated from their parent find either their parent or a police officer. 

People still enjoy these kindnesses, but few practice them. A few years ago, a local crossing guard unexpectedly passed away. Sunny was an elderly man who sat out by a local school every single day to assist with getting the kids across safely. But what people noticed was that Sunny sat outside in his chair and waved at every single car that went by. He always had a huge smile on his face, and no one passed him without a wave, even though many did not wave back. Sunny did, however, get very excited when anyone did wave back. 

When Sunny passed away, we were a town in mourning. It was covered on the local news the day he passed and was talked about through his memorial service, which was televised. A placard was put up in the spot in his honor, and the kids decorated where he once sat with pinwheels in every color of the rainbow, and for a year they replaced those pinwheels as they broke. Sunny's passing was treated in much the same way as the death of a politician or celebrity. And when people are asked why they reacted this way to the death of an elderly crossing guard, people respond with, "He was just a nice guy." 

When I was in NJ we had "Waving Willie." Every day, he put a chair out in his driveway and waved at the cars going by. After he died, people started leaving flowers in his driveway, and he is still talked about so many years later. Willie has been dead at least 20 years now, I guess. But people in NJ know exactly who you mean if you mention Waving Willie. 

All these two men did was wave at passing cars. And they offered a smile. That's it! A basic kindness! A wave and a smile. Something many people may have only gotten from those two men every day. And forget what an impact a basic kindness can have on a person. 

We live in a time when we are on our phones all the time and we don't notice the things around us. Our kids play video games instead of playing outside with friends. We are developing more and more technology that requires less and less human interaction on a daily basis. And when we hear about a young lady cutting the food of an elderly man, it is huge news and people are amazed by her kindness. The reality is that the world would be a better place if basic kindness wasn't so astounding. 

So here's your homework assignment. Pick one of the following and do it sometime during the next week:

1. Smile at the driver of the car next to you in traffic. 
2. While waiting in line at a store, strike up a conversation with someone behind you or in front of you. Something basic like, "Wow, am I glad the sun is finally back" or "This time change is killing me." You'd be amazed at how people react to a random stranger just saying something to them. Watch their guard drop immediately. 
3. While crossing the street, keep pace with a elderly or disabled person. You don't have to touch them, just keep pace so they know you have their back if they should fall or can't get across in time.
4. Talk to an elderly person who is alone. They have great stories. But more importantly, a lot of elderly people feel invisible. It will do wonders for them to know someone sees them. 

These are basic kindnesses. None of them cost money, and none of them will cost you much time out of your day, either. But it will impact those people more than you can know. And if enough of us do this often enough, basic kindnesses won't be astounding anymore. Wouldn't that be nice?

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